Chasing Shadows
by Meffisto
Summary: Set in an alternate world, Juvia sees the man she used to love in her dreams. She experiences the passion and heartbreak all over again, with new people in her life, will she choose to move on or will the shadows of the past catch up to her?
1. Hourglass

_.._Just felt like doing a Gruvia fanfic, so here goes. This story is set in an alternate universe and the characters may or may not have characteristics of the original characters from Fairy Tail...I hope it doesn't disappoint. I do not own Fairy Tail only the story and concept..This is Part 1 of Chasing Shadows, Hourglass.

* * *

_-Hourglass_

Darkness surrounded them. They didn't bother turning on the lights as they entered 10 minutes ago, too preoccupied at the tense situation they were in. They even forgot to shut the door. A beam of light entered through the open entrance, one long shadow casted on the floor. Thunder rumbled outside, followed by a bolt of lightning, crackling as it whipped from above. Heavy rain would soon follow.

"_Do you love me?"_

The question escaped from her mouth with a hazy trembling voice that betrayed her efforts to be strong. She waited for a very long time to ask him. The question burned in her mind for the past few weeks, desperate to know the answer, but couldn't find the right time or courage to ask. Now in this dark room she couldn't stop herself, not with their relationship hanging by a thread that at any minute could break.

Juvia looked up at him with big green eyes, now blurry with strained tears. She wanted to cry but held back the droplets that were threatening to escape. She willed herself not to falter, not at a time like this when her question would finally be given an answer. She didn't want him to see. See the pain that were obvious in her eyes, windows to her heart. Another bolt of lightning descended. Silence radiated in the dark room after. She clenched her fist. _Please! _She screamed inside her head.

"_I don't"_

He answered and drew a sharp breath as soon as the words were uttered. As if they just slipped out of his mouth without him having the chance to stop them, he knew he could never take them back. He was standing still, frozen, hands balled into fists. Blue eyes stared back at her trying to make sense of what he just said. Thunder persisted and the rain began to fall, he tore his eyes away from hers and stared at the darkness instead. His jaw clenched.

_No, I don't_. It didn't make any sense to her. After all they've been through, after all the time they spent together, was it all just waste?, just a past time? Juvia tried finding an excuse to this but found none. It was juvenile for her to think about those things because she knew him better than that and he wasn't someone who'd use her so easily, but still what other possibilities could there be? She knew her feelings for him ran deep. She could say she loved him even. No man had ever compared to him in her heart, but Juvia didn't want to say the words knowing that the feeling wasn't mutual at least that was what he'd declared. She deserved better than that.

"_No, no I didn't mean it, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" _she waited for him to say, but nothing came out of his mouth. He just stood there without another word, looking at anything but her, shifting his weight from leg to leg. She refused to believe, but what else could she do but step back and honor his word. She didn't want to be a nuisance, always pushing her feelings unto him and being too persistent. She wasn't like that, but she also wasn't a quitter. Giving him more time to take back his answer, she waited till she knew he wouldn't.

"_Okay"_ She finally said weakly. Then the tears fell, burning her cheeks. The damage had been done. She wiped them off vigorously with the back of her hands, thankful for the darkness around them but still she knew that he could see her pale face, a perfect contrast to the blackness. Another lightning bolt, _No, he's watching, don't look, please don't look _she thought. She didn't want his pity, not even a speck of it. A second later she turned away and ran out of the room, stepping out into the dark street. Juvia ran and ran without a certain destination in mind, pumping her legs as fast as she could. She just wanted to escape, to get as far away as possible from that dark room, with the wind whipping her hair behind her, rain drenching her from head to toe and brought goose bumps to her arms. She ran till she couldn't. She ran till her legs gave out under her.

People passed by, slowing as they stared at her collapsed on the floor, concern and worry filled their faces. With her body crumpled on the ground and her clothes and hair plastered to her body, she raised her hands to her face and cried the pains of her heart, tears mixing with the rain. That was the last he ever saw her again.

* * *

Juvia woke up to the darkness. Her eyes wide open trying to adjust, breathing in ragged breaths till her lungs started to hurt, blood and heartbeats pounding in her ears_. _Strange dreams filled her nights these past few weeks, nightmares that ruined her sleep. They always, always showed her memories of the painful past. She glanced to her right at the digital alarm clock. Two o'clock it said, with bright red lines that shone through the darkness of her room.

She barely had 3 hours of sleep when the dreams attacked. With her eyes closed and a sigh, Juvia ran her hand up her face and through her hair, wavy in the humidity of her room, letting it fall to her back. After she calmed herself down with a few more deep breaths, Juvia reached out for her phone "_you have one message_" she read.

It was from her psychologist, sent two hours ago. Juvia never thought that she would ever need a doctor like that, and here she was now reading a message from one. Just last week she met with him, the dashing Dr. Jellal Xavier Allen. Known in his profession, he had an excellent reputation and was highly recommended. With grey-blue eyes that assessed his patients through his reading glasses, she saw the wisdom and knowledge that radiated from the young doctor. Juvia needed help, and she trusted him to do that.

Without reading the message, she stretched her arms above her and flexed her shoulders, moaning as her joints popped, she felt so exhausted. There was no way she could sleep again. One leg after the other she got out of bed, pushing aside her sheets. Barefooted, she padded quietly down the stairs, glancing to her right she saw the lights in the living room still on. _"Must've forgotten"_ she muttered to herself, squinting to adjust her eyes to the sudden brightness. Shifting to her left she felt her way through the unlit, short hallway that led to her kitchen and dining area. She glided her hand along the wall and found the light switch. _Click. _Light filled the room.

Dark marble counter tops, wooden shelves painted white, a long glass table with matching chairs and silverware, tiled floors and steel appliances greeted her. Opening the refrigerator, she looked for a midnight snack. The cold air that escaped chilled her skin. There was yogurt and ice cream, fruits and bread, cheese and strawberry milk. Juvia took a minute to decide and finally settled on ice cream. Pouring herself a glass of water, she sat on the counter top. The coldness of the marble beneath her skin and the water helped clear her mind. She took that time to adjust her eyes and survey her home, taking a spoonful of her snack.

She lived in a 2 bedroom condo at the very top floor of The Glasshouse, a very tall, very bad ass, totally expensive building located at the heart of Magnolia City. It had a glass-paneled exterior just like it's name claimed, the mirrors reflected the surrounding buildings and the blue sky. Plush couches, Persian rugs and heavy chandeliers decorated the interior. It's walls were painted beige, with several sculptures and plants at the corners it had a classy feel almost like it came from an 1850's movie. Except for the mirrored floor that was totally modern, it gave the illusion of empty space beneath your feet. It scared the crap out of her when she entered the building for the first time. With few tenants on her floor, it was a quiet dwelling place. Juvia always, always preferred silence, which explained her choice of living at the very last floor of a 20 story building.

She always got bewildered looks from her neighbors, not that she cared. It was because she used the stairs when there was clearly a shiny, convenient- looking elevator beside the shiny, expensive-looking metal sculpture of Mercury, standing in all its winged glory.

"_What? No one uses the stairs anymore?" _she'd just mutter to herself and begin her ascend to the 20th floor. For her it was like a pilgrimage, to walk and walk and get tired and exhausted till she couldn't move her feet one more step. The rest was just pure will, besides, she didn't have much time to go to the gym anyway. And at the end of her journey she'd reach her reward, her cosy couch, where she'd collapse inside her simple home. It was also because Juvia hated the music they played inside the elevator, it was so annoying that she'd rather climb the stairs. The elevator was pure torture.

She devoted a whole 3 days to decorating her home, starting with 30 minutes just standing and staring at wallpapers, tapping a finger to her chin. She finally decided on a lavender print. The next day she beamed at her walls, all lavender and soothing and downright simple. She left the floor as it were, mahogany-washed wooden panels that spanned vertically. She'd just laid auburn rugs over them. As for furniture, Victorian colours where everywhere, from deep rose, to maroon. She picked out simple pieces that complemented her light walls, a wine coloured couch, wooden side tables that were padded by chocolate-brown coverings, a centre piece made of stained glass, even her TV stand was maroon-tinted tempered glass. Paintings of Greek scenes and deities hang high on the walls. One corner of her living room was pure glass, overlooking the great city, she put heavy drapes over her big windows, the same colour as her couch.

Her bedroom was a whole different pallet, with only monochrome colours repeatedly used. Gray sheets, black pillows with white details, white walls, gray floor-length mirror, black bookshelves, white curtains, gray industrial decorations, and black rugs. Some of her clothes and the red numbers of her digital clock were probably the only things that weren't gray, black or white. Juvia felt particularly professional when she decided on the colours she'd use for her room. It was like entering into another house when you came from the living room.

She used the other room as her office, with tall wooden bookshelves that occupied two whole corners of the room. A stack of boxes was beside the window, filled with old manuscripts and junk that Juvia didn't really need but just couldn't throw away. Family pictures in little black frames were the only decorations. The walls were painted deep red, standing out over the beige floor. She backed up her wooden desk at one corner and hung a whiteboard above it. The white board used to have symbols, dates and words scribbled on it but for the moment it was empty.

Juvia didn't have much stuff, she didn't keep a lot of clothes and shoes, they where stylish enough and Juvia didn't want to have a hard time just picking out an outfit from a mountain of clothes. Juvia put almost three-fourths of her income to her savings, not wanting to spend money on beautiful but totally unnecessary things. She only had several family pictures and baby photographs of herself. The only things in abundance that she owned were books. Ranging from many genres, she kept about 200 in her bookshelves. Hardback and soft bound, old high school pocketbooks to new novels, some heavily read, and some only read once. They were the things she loved the most.

If there was one thing that one could see in her apartment. It was inconsistency. Juvia never really thought of herself as a perfectionist. She always took everything as they were, let the world bring all it's bullshit and she'd just deal with it. But at least with her own little space, she could let herself go crazy in designing and picking out stuff she didn't know if she even liked.

This was her safe place, a little world she created, where few have ever seen.

She wasn't that much of a weirdo or a loner, she had friends, went out on a Friday night and had an occasional drink, sometimes get wasted and do all kinds of crazy things. She just enjoyed a little personal space and solitude. That was all. After being at work where people fussed, hustled and screamed at deadlines, she needed some peace and quiet and her 20th floor condo was the perfect place.

Juvia Violette Rae Carter , or Io as she's called by many, this came about because when she was young Juvia couldn't pronounce her name properly and came up with only the two vowels, and ever since then the name stuck. She was an editor, as young as she was, she was damn good at her job. She also did well academically, going through school was a breeze for her. She'd earned a lot of friends, a few she became really close with. Her job also made her one of those that give writers a reason to scream and go haywire. Luck and Hugh Publishing and Literature Company hired her at the age of 22. A miracle really, letting a newbie work for them, but ever since, they never regretted their decision. Independent and driven, that's what it said in her resume. Juvia knew people just wrote that stuff to look good but she thought she was pretty good at being those things. It didn't take long before she won the approval of her senior editors. 2 years in the company taught her to love her job but she wasn't totally into chaos, so instead she went looking for a remedy and ended up at The Glasshouse. See, not a total nut job after all.

Something furry brushed against her skin. Juvia looked down to see her only companion in this haven, her big handsome dog. Stranger was a Pyrenean mastiff, soulful and gentle. She had to admit that he was somewhat her best friend rather than pet. Most women would adore their diamonds but for Juvia it was this beast.

Stranger was the first thing that came to her mind when she first met him at a pet shop when he was a little smaller. Juvia needed a companion and she decided to get a pet. Walking in the shop, she saw a lot of dogs, varying from breed to colour to gender, waiting to for someone to notice them and give them a home and affection, staring at her with huge sparkly eyes that somehow creeped her out. When she stooped over his cage, bending to see his face, the dog looked at her with his beady, innocent eyes. He had light-brown fur almost white at a distance with patches of a darker shade in his face, chest, back and paws. She knew mastiffs grew into big dogs, she never liked the small ones like the Chihuahua or a Shiatsu, and she wanted a dog that could be companion and a guard at the same time. This particular one had brown eyes that held her gaze steadily.

"_Your awesome_" She said to him with a grin, putting her hand on the bars of his cage, the little mastiff reached out and touched his paw to her fingers, giving a small bark as if to agree with her compliment. And the day after, she took Stranger home. They'd been together ever since.

Smiling she jumped down and scratched his neck_._ A year after adopting him, Stranger grew into a big dog, but remained gentle.

" _Hi Stranger"_ She whispered. Her silent giant brushed his furry head against her hand. This made her smile wider. "_Don't worry, I'm okay." _She reassured both herself and her dog.

"_I'm okay"._ She repeated.

* * *

_"I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul." _  
- Pablo Neruda_  
_


	2. Rain

Before anything else, Happy Holidays!..Thanks to those who'v read this far, I hope you like this new one..

* * *

-_ Rain_

Juvia sighed and closed her eyes. Letting her body collapse on the swivelling chair, she rested. Just minutes ago, she was talking to one of her writers, warning and explaining that her manuscript might get dropped if she continued her tardy submissions. They talked for quite a long time.

Dejected, the lady rushed out of her office to hasten her work, high heels making noisy sounds while she ran with tears starting to fall from her face. This was the part Juvia hated the most, seeing the regret and fear in the hopeful eyes of the writers who put their lives into writing, months of hard work and creativity limited only by a due date set on their talents. These people would lock themselves in their rooms and sit all night, racking their brains, typing endlessly as the words filled the pages on their laptop screens, slowly creating their own unique tale, and when morning came, they still persisted. She always tried to encourage and set deadlines that writers could manage, she loved reading their work and improving them as she flipped through the pages of their manuscripts, but there were some who just can't keep track.

"_Follow your passion, not let it consume you" _she said to her empty office.

She'd been doing this for 2 years now, and it didn't get any easier. Everyday sitting in this office, talking or reading with writers, discussing matters about their work, she'd see the passion in their eyes. It was a showcase of a person's vulnerability, and she was the one that brought them out. She didn't want that. She was amazed by what people could write about, the expression and the story that they could create in their minds, how they could interpret love, friendship, family or any other aspect of daily life in millions of different ways and put it on paper using words that made perfect sense. It was a gift to the world when they could be published and read, but that fulfilment came with continuous dedication and punctuality. It was a collective effort on the part of the writer and the editor. If one couldn't keep up, it would all fall apart.

She shifted in her seat, trying to find a comfortable position. She opened her eyes and looked at her office, it was spacious and well lit, there were several plants beside the door, a deep brown rug, twin bookshelves lined one corner and her desk was at the center, a set of chairs in front of it, the blinds were pulled back and revealed dark clouds that threatened to unleash waves of water upon the poor mortals of the city. She closed her eyes again.

_Rain._

Another though crossed her mind, a dangerously beautiful face that haunted her, even in her sleep, memories of 6 years ago, black hair that fell over his pale skin and sapphire blue eyes bordered by dark lashes, a wide sensuous mouth that turned up into an easy grin, ever since they were kids, she'd always, always recognize that smile. But this memory was not one of him smiling, it was a memory wherein they were drenched by the rapid rain, when she was 18 and he a year older than her.

She'd let him under her umbrella, the same one tattered and destroyed on the ground, when she saw him standing in the middle of the field outside their school. He just stood there, not minding the rain, wetting his clothes and his ink black hair. He'd let his backpack fall from his shoulder and it landed with a thud on the wet ground.

"_Gray?" _ She shouted over the thunder of the rain. He didn't seem to hear. No one else was in sight, in this weather, everything hid from the torrent of the rain, they were the only two outside. The rain hit the pavement vigorously, making noisy sounds as they collided with the ground. She didn't want to go back inside and leave him there.

She rushed to him, halfway her shoes got a little wet when she almost stepped into a puddle. Finally she was beside him and she held up her umbrella, with a worried look on her face she'd ask him if he was okay.

Then all hell broke loose.

He told her about his father. How he'd just died, driving, or rather speeding along the wet highway, minutes after the rain started. It happened yesterday when Gray had called his father to pick him up. With no other witnesses in sight, his car skidded and toppled over, instantly killing its trapped passenger. Medics found his mangled body, unrecognizable. Gray got the call this morning, his eyes growing sadder and sadder with every word.

She lost her grip on her umbrella, and the wind carried it away. She felt weak all of a sudden. His face held bitterness, his eyes were blue voids, wiped of any joy. She covered her mouth with her trembling hand, remembering Mr. James Macarov Breck just days ago when she'd seen him buy coffee, a man full of life. The rain quickly drenched her clothes and hair.

His sad eyes searched her face for answers to his questions, burning blue in their sadness.

"_Why did I have to call him? Why?" _ he said in a low voice full of pain, saying what he thought out loud, he'd always have laughter in his voice, but not in that day when they stood facing each other, with endless rain pouring over them. His body was strained and his fists were clenched so hard his knuckles where white.

"_I'm sorry, Gray" _she said, stepping closer to him. She knew Macarov all her life, remembering the man's face when he'd come over with his family on Sunday nights, when he'd congratulated her for finishing middle school. He looked nothing like his son, except for the eyes. She never thought that he would die the way he did.

Looking up, Juvia met Gray's eyes. Grief was plain on his features. The rain traced the contours of his face, running over the tired lines.

His pain saddened her, this was not the Gray Raphael Breck she knew, the charming, handsome Gray, with his own weird grace, who'd be the first to make a joke out of anything. When they were kids, he was always the one to initiate a game or be the one who went home the dirtiest, who was care-free and fun, the boy with a light that was brighter than anyone she'd ever met. Yet at the same time, he held a mystery and a depth that no one would've dared to venture into, there laid a hidden sadness that she was witnessing now that he'd grown into a young man. She reached out tentatively and touched his cheek gently, her hand shaking against his cold, smooth skin. She wanted to be strong for him, comfort him instead of adding to his sorrow, yet she still trembled.

Pain twisted his features and tears sprang from his frozen eyes, mixing with the rain that ran down his face. He covered his hand over hers and suddenly collapsed to his knees, kneeling in front of her.

Juvia's eyes began to tear up, she didn't know how to deal with this Gray, and this side of him was so new to her. Without thinking she kneeled, following Gray's lead. She took his face between her palms, making him look into her eyes, trying to tell him with that she was right there with him, asking him to share his pain, that she was there to somehow ease the burden even just a little. Juvia let all the these emotions be visible in her eyes. She then let the tears fall, slowly wrapping her arms around his trembling shoulders, Juvia hoped to give all the comfort she could. He was just a teenage boy. Never expecting to wake up one day, to get a call from a stranger and hear that his father is dead.

"_Rae, oh Rae" _He moaned her name, bringing his arms around her, returning her embrace with great force. He crushed her to him, they were pressed tightly against each other, finding warmth in their embrace as the rain continued to shower over them. He was the only person to call her that, to call her with such familiarity. He liked Rae much better than Io and stuck with it through the years she'd known him. She often heard it in a light hearted tone when he called out to her out of nowhere, she didn't like the way it sounded now, like a plea, like a broken prayer.

She barely had room to breathe, her lungs were constricted and her sides hurt where his arms encircled her. His hands gripped her jacket, balling the fabric in his fists. He rested his head on her shoulder and she felt his warm breath on her neck, he was still crying hard. Juvia rested her head on the curve of his shoulder and listened to his muffled sobs and drowned out the sound of the rain. She let him pour out his grief within her embrace, knowing now that Gray was more than his easy smile and joyous laughter. It was not a light she saw that day but an inferno that blazed in his being, threatening to burst out of his prince-like exterior. The death of his father opened the gates of his heart, revealing the sudden outpour of emotion that he kept in tight control.

Juvia opened her eyes. Straightening her back, she sat properly. The sky began to rumble and the rain drizzled at first, droplets descending one by one, but later grew into a rapid outpour, drowning the city. Juvia took her eyes away from the window and settled them downwards, looking at her interlocked hands, afraid that she would remember more if she kept on staring at the window.

She'd never seen such vulnerability in Gray save for that day. She'd shared his pain as he clutched to her so tightly as if she was his lifeline that if she'd let go everything in him would instantly shatter, leaving him an empty vessel void of any emotion. Juvia gave so much comfort that she'd drowned in her passion and in his sorrow. For that was the day she'd come to love him. That day she lost her heart to the grieving man in her arms.

Months later, that loving heart broke into millions of loving pieces.

"_Hey Loser" _A voice mocked at Juvia. She raised her head, shocked, not noticing anyone enter. She must've been lost in her thoughts so deep she couldn't even make full use of her senses, that was what Gray did to her, even in dreams. That sarcastic voice was so familiar, she didn't even need to glance. Juvia looked anyway, and her eyes registered the woman before her.

"_Reese."_

Vermilion Reese Carter was Juvia's sister, although the girl liked to go by the alias Meredy. Some people would ask why they both had colours for names. Meredy would say it was because their parents hated them so much they gave them names to humiliate them for a lifetime. Juvia on the other hand would explain that it was because their mother really wanted to name her daughters with her two favourite colours, violet and vermillion. Meredy always said that Juvia got the better name because she could have nicknames like Vio or Elle, while she got Vermi, thus the creation of the name Meredy.

They shared the same brunette hair although Meredy's was severely cropped short to her nape, save for her long bangs that covered one side of her pale face. Juvia thought that her sister was in her Goth phase. Heavy kohl eyeliner and mascara bordered her eyes, they were lighter than Juvia's, almost feline. She was skinnier and taller than Juvia, although 2 years younger. Meredy had tattoos from her arm to her elbow, a crucifix, wings and a chain. She stood before Juvia with arms crossed across her chest. Meredy wore black leather boots, black tights and a striped sweater, gray and white that were long enough to reach half her thighs, a spiked bracelet her only accessory. Juvia was thankful her sister only had tattoos and didn't have any piercings, although she guessed those would come soon too. Puberty did weird things but it left the worst on her sister.

" _Its Meredy to you sis. Your office screams so much of your personality, it's so fucking dull." _ Meredy said sticking her tongue out, circling her feline eyes over Juvia's office. She sat on the desk, her boots dangling over the edge. Juvia was already used to her mockery, ever since they were young, Meredy had always been, well Meredy. She had a whole brand of personality to herself. Their mother tried hard to change that, limited her freedom, compared her to Juvia and always, always expected too much from her. This off course made things worse. The way Meredy was pressured, Juvia understood why she turned out the way she did, although she would have liked more courtesy, Juvia accepted Meredy as she was, after all they were family.

" _Thanks" _she just replied. Patience was the only way to talk to Meredy, one wrong word and she would go ballistic, Juvia knew this from years of experience. _"Now what do you want from me?"_

There was no way Meredy would have come to her simply just because she missed Juvia. She needed something, something important that Juvia could give. There was definitely an ulterior motive behind her sudden appearance.

"_Ah fuck"_ Meredy whispered_. "Okay, I need your help, well more specifically I need your money. I hope you're not still mad about last time, that wasn't even much."_ She said quickly.

Juvia heard the difficulty in her sister's voice, she must've been in big trouble or needed the money desperately to swallow her pride and come to Juvia. _"Wasn't much? Re-Meredy you stole 100 freaking dollars from my piggy bank, you literally tore it from my drawer! Do you know how hard it was to earn that money, especially for a 12 year old kid! I know it doesn't count much too you but it sure as hell did to me, I couldn't buy my freaking bike 'cause of what you did"_

"_Sorry okay. But this time I really, really need it. There's this gallery opening next week and they invited me. I want to make something really awesome, something I've never done before and to do so I need materials Io, HARDCORE badass materials and those things don't usually come cheap". _Meredy explained, spreading her arms to emphasize her point.

Meredy was a painter. Juvia had seen her work accidentally before when she walked into her sister's unlocked room to borrow an eraser, Meredy found her holding a painting and went all crazy on Juvia. _That's what you get when you don't lock the door_, their father had said after he tore Meredy from Juvia, grounding them both for a month which Meredy blamed all on her. Her style was very unique, she never used more than three colours on each piece, and they always had a Medieval- Steam Punk feel to them. As she grew older, Meredy became more confident and finally allowed people to see them, the only time she was nice was when it had to do with her talent, it was a miracle she'd even say please.

"_Please" _Meredy whispered, her eyes pleading. As much as Juvia wanted to scold her sister for squandering her savings in the past, she let it go. Being supportive was the only thing she could do to keep Meredy out of trouble. Juvia loved that her sister had something to keep her in check and express herself. Juvia sighed and smiled up at Meredy. Giving away a few bucks couldn't hurt.

"_How much do you need?"_

"_Not much" _Meredy shrugged. "_just 500 dollars"_

Juvia's mouth dropped. _"500 dollars!?For ART MATERIALS? _She stood from her chair, making a screeching sound as the sudden movement pushed it back. _"Are you shitting me?" _Juvia barely cussed, but this was a damn good time to do so.

"_And that's why I came bearing gifts"_ Meredy tentatively smiled and dug in her pocket, retrieving two tickets, she handed it to Juvia. _"You can come to the show, bring someone along, if you want"._ Meredy pouted and made puppy eyes. Juvia wished she had a camera to capture this ultra-rare moment.

"_Meredy"_

Juvia folded her arms against her chest, she wanted to support her sister but Meredy had to learn the value of money and sisterhood. Juvia was determined to teach her and this was the perfect opportunity. _"Kiss me first"._ Juvia said, grinning and tapping her finger on her left cheek.

"_What?! Why"_ Meredy's eyebrows drew together.

" '_Cuz you need money. And I have money. AND I am your sister."_

" _No shit_" Meredy rolled her eyes but did as she was told, quickly leaning over the desk to kiss Juvia's cheek. Juvia laughed and hugged Meredy while she was still close, Meredy struggled under her but didn't push away, making an irritated grunt. _"You are so lame, I can't believe I'm related to you"_

"_I love you too Reese, I mean Meredy, I'll send the money to your bank account tomorrow"._ Juvia said as Meredy drew back, trying to ignore the insult.

"_Yeah, thanks Loser"_ Meredy said as she left with an almost-smile on her face.

* * *

"_What is that you express in your eyes? It seems to me more than all the print I have read in my life." _  
- Walt Whitman**  
**


	3. Drowning In Fire

Merry Christmas!

* * *

_-Drowning in Fire_

Juvia walked out of Dr. Jellal's office feeling tired.

They talked about the possibility that deep inside Juvia didn't want to forget about the past, that the dreams was her mind's way of saying that she still wanted to remember. This confused her so much, her head started to throb. It sounded so absurd to her ears that she was almost offended by the idea yet Juvia didn't deny that there was a chance, even a miniscule chance that all this was because she still had lingering feelings about her time with Gray.

Dr. Jellal assured her that this was just one of the many explanations to her dreams, he said it was too early to tell and they'd have to observe more accurately to rule out other options. He just wanted to explain to her that this was also one of their options out of many that he hoped they'd crossed out as time progressed and they knew more about this condition of hers. He understood that the idea was alien to her because he'd witnessed the effects they had on Juvia, yet he wasn't so sure about her sub conscience. Juvia thanked him and stepped out. She started her appointments a month ago, when she'd have sleepless nights that she thought was only insomnia, treated with a few meds and counselling, a week later, she could sleep again.

Then the dreams came.

It felt like nightmares to her, not in the scary horror movie kind of way but in the sense that she didn't want to see these memories, to see his face. She tried so hard to put them behind her, yet they threaten her every time she closed her eyes. They came uninvited and aggressive and ended abruptly leaving her in the misery of another night of remembering. It felt like she was drowning, drowning in the endless barrage of images of black hair and blue eyes. It was like drowning in fire.

Today, she asked herself if she was the one bringing these dreams, subconsciously longing to remember them again. If that was the case then Juvia didn't understand herself, as crazy as that sounded. For years she told herself that although the past was full of good times it was still painful because of their separation, every memory hurt ever since she'd ran out of that dark room on that stormy day.

Her phone rang in her jean pocket. The name Jordan Ultear displayed on the screen.

Jordan was Juvia's best friend. She was a chemistry student at the University of Magnolia and surprisingly the lead singer of the rock band Sedation. A band she started earlier this year with other classmates after she claimed that rock music made her high, and that was where their band name originated. Jordan was a year younger than Juvia with fuchsia highlights in her black hair and a voice that could sing anything from Celine Dion to Aerosmith. Pale, with periwinkle blue eyes that always held laughter, and tangerine lipstick she was the most uniquely creative person Juvia knew. And her last name was Breck.

Juvia remembered the first time she'd met Jordan Ultear Breck, or at least been formally introduced.

Gray took her to his house after another rain shower caught them unprepared, rain seemed to come every afternoon these past few weeks. It had been 2 days since Gray revealed to her the terrible news of his father's death. Now she wanted to visit his mom to offer her condolences. They ran fast. Gray's arm was over her shoulder as he held up his jacket over them. They ran along the sidewalk, crossed the street and turned into an alley, just a little further till they were in his neighbourhood. Finally his house was in sight. It was two-stories high, painted blue and white, simple and easy on the eyes, without any fancy decorations except for their exceptional yard that Mrs. Ul Fullbuster Breck tended to passionately. The grass was perfectly mowed, the bushes and hedges were trimmed and flowers were blooming.

He led her to the door and knocked, running his other hand through his wet hair and looking over to Juvia, his eyes asking if she was okay. Juvia smiled to reassure him and took off her wet cardigan. She shivered. Noticing, Gray moved in front of her and took both her hands in his, bringing them to his mouth. He breathed on her cold fingers, rubbing his palms against her hands to create friction. Gray stared at her as he did this and Juvia's hands warmed up but her face was probably hotter, she could feel herself blushing from the contact.

Ul opened the door for them, smiling as she invited them in. Gray kissed his mother's cheek as he entered and went straight for the bathroom. Juvia hugged her, careful not to wet her but the lady didn't seem to mind. Juvia sat on the couch and was offered a glass of orange juice. While she took it, she noticed that the lady's eyes were red, a sign that she'd been crying for a long time. Her hair was a bit unruly, probably from lack of attention this past few days. Gray's mother was kind and quiet. Ul had a comely face with dark-brown hair, blue eyes like her children and a sweet smile, her features were also distinct, not the face of a plain woman. Juvia had known her as long as she could remember, she was always kind to her. Ul was a very quiet woman, she barely spoke, and when she did it would be in a soft voice that you needed to strain your ears to listen. Her eyes seemed sadder compared to her son's, even without the tears, Juvia could see clearly the deep emotions that passed through the lady's eyes.

Juvia thanked her and UL took her wet cardigan and went to fetch a towel, disappearing into a corner. Juvia circled her eyes around the living room. A big family picture hung over the velvet-covered walls. Gray and his sister were still young when it was taken, Macarov and Ul were staring wonderfully at each other as their two kids grinned with smiles missing a few teeth. They were all in formal clothes and little Gray had a bow-tie around his neck, his eyes blue and full of joy. Juvia smiled as she saw how happy they looked in the photo, but felt sad as she remembered Macarov. An L-shaped couch centred the room, under it was a thick, rectangular rug, they had a complete TV set and it was neatly placed and arranged on the shelf. The windows were draped by gold curtains with tassels, a few plants here and there and a wooden staircase that led to the second floor.

Just then Gray came out of a corridor without his T-shirt on and his jeans hung loosely. His bare torso was exposed to her and Juvia's eyes bulged. His head was down under a towel that he rubbed to dry his hair, not seeming to notice her. Juvia didn't want him to, they'd both be embarrassed by the situation. Juvia sat very still, her glass still cold in her hands, but her eyes never left him. He held a sweater in his other hand.

From the boy in the picture, Gray had grown into a young man. Juvia never actually observed his physique till now. His skin was still pale under the warm light, a few drops of water were on his broad shoulders, falling from his wet hair. His muscles were firm but weren't too huge, it wouldn't suit him if they were so. His arms were toned but not too bulky. Juvia trailed her eyes downward, she felt her face warm up. He had abs that were prominent on his stomach, again not to muscular but still noticeable. She knew he was athletic but his body now proved it to her. Juvia quickly turned her head away when Gray looked up.

"_Hey"_ He said when he finally saw her.

"_Hi"_ Juvia answered back, pretending to look at the red-bricked fireplace in front of the centre table instead, hoping that her face wasn't red. When Gray made no move to cover himself up, Juvia though he must've been real confident about his display.

"_Ughh, you might wanna put a shirt on"._

Only then did Gray notice his appearance. With a nervous laugh and a curse he quickly tugged the sweater over him and combed his hands through his black hair, still dripping from the rain. He was blushing and couldn't seem to take away the smile from his face. "_Sorry 'bout that". _His blue eyes assessed her face for any reaction. Juvia bit her lip to keep from herself from smiling.

He slowly walked over and sat beside her, still grinning. Not too close, not too far. Ul came in and handed her a towel and a white shirt in exchange for Juvia's empty glass. She stood and went into the bathroom where Gray had come out minutes ago, half naked. Juvia blushed again at the thought but quickly scolded herself. Closing the door behind her, she took off her wet shirt. Juvia was thankful her undergarments weren't touched by the rain, so she just ran the towel over her hair, neck and arms and finally dressed into the cotton shirt. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair fell in tangles and she straightened them out with her fingers, slowly loosening the knots. Her face looked paler but overall she looked fine.

Juvia joined Gray and Ul back on the couch. There was another girl beside Gray and Juvia guessed she was his sister. The girl had the same blue eyes and black hair. Juvia had only seen her a few times when she was still younger. The only difference among them was that the girl didn't look like she cried much tears.

Juvia smiled at her and reached out her hand. "_Hi I'm Violette, But you can call me Juvia or Io, or whatever you probably don't remember me"_

"_I'm Jordan, I do remember 'cause Gray always talks 'bout you" _Jordan said with a smile, accepting her offered hand. Beside Jordan, Gray's face went red and he nudged his sister with his knee. Juvia just smiled at the idea.

Juvia discovered that Jordan had cried so hard the day before that she had no tears to shed anymore. Juvia wondered if that could actually be possible but she didn't dwell too much on it. She offered her condolences to Ul and Jordan, talking about how she remembered Macarov, as a good man. Ul's eyes grew sadder still further and Juvia though that she must've loved her husband so much. A moment later another emotion crossed her eyes, it was much deeper than sadness, it was almost guilt or anger. Juvia broke the eye contact not wanting to be rude. Gray just kept quiet throughout and Jordan smiled occasionally, Juvia guessed that she was the joy of the family.

"_Thanks for comforting my brother, he thought that it was real sweet of you."_ Jordan said after their conversation went into a lighter topic. She grinned so wide, all her teeth showed. Juvia softly laughed and looked at Gray, raising her eyebrow to ask if it was true.

"_You're killing me Jordan"_ Gray moaned, nudging harder at his sister beside him. Ul just smiled and excused herself. Gray waited for his mother to leave the room before saying anything else. _"Yeah, I never got to thank you, for staying with me even though it was raining, aand yes I thought that it was real sweet of you"_ Gray stuttered and ran his hand down his neck and looked at her shyly.

"_You're welcome"_ Juvia said gently, a bit flattered, and her skin was all tingly. She stopped herself from smiling too much, but Jordan's smiled further, giggling as she kept on shaking Gray's arm. They conversed for a little while more before Jordan took her by the arm and led her up to her room. It was a bit messy and unorganized. Clothes were everywhere and science books were stacked on her desk, little pieces of paper sticking out through the pages. Her room smelled of vanilla that filled Juvia's nose, it was nostalgic. Nirvana albums were scattered on her bed and Jordan piled them in her hands and dropped them gently on a box and pushed it under her bed with her foot. The ceiling was splattered with different colors, and little wind-mobiles hung from them. Jordan turned out to be what Juvia didn't expect.

Juvia took one of the books, curious as to why a girl like Jordan, who obviously loved rock and unique things have science reading materials on her desk. Was she also into reading? Juvia sat down on the floor and flipped through the pages of a chemistry book. Jordan's handwriting was everywhere, it was sloppy but elegant at the same time, scribbled notes and formulas filled the white spaces of the book, she'd circled several pages and dog-eared some more, and Jordan also drew different types of atoms and chemical bonds. It was obvious that she took science seriously. Jordan just let her scan through her books and picked up one book herself, opening it on a marked page.

"_You might think its weird, finding these books in my room, Nirvana and science don't really come together do they? 'What the hell are these doing in Jordan's room?'. But I love science, it's my "thing" you know. I don't know how I got into it, I've always thought it was boring and dull till recently when I've paid much more attention and it hit me. It's fascinating and so full of, full of knowledge about everything. I guess I just found it and suddenly it became what I love to do" _Jordan's eyes sparkled as she talked about science, her hands rising above her head, exaggerating her words. Juvia smiled at that and stood up to sit beside Jordan.

"_That's real nice Jordan. I guess mine is literature. Growing up we were told stories and fairytales, I always enjoyed those, fantasies with princesses and kings and knights, BUT I am not one of those happy-ending types okay? I like a good cliff-hanger, not the prince-kisses- princess and she wakes up kind of thing. Then when I got older I was exposed to Shakespeare and Jane Austin, Victor Hugo, Dante Alighieri and a lot more authors. Not many people enjoy literature but I guess I'm one of those few, it's even a miracle a teen ager can like literature these days but I guess I do. I have the same look in your eyes when I talk about it"._ Juvia said while she continued flipping through the pages, seeing more of Jordan's scribbles.

"_Gray has photography too. He always has his camera, but since dad- since dad died, he's never brought it out. It must've been real hard on him, to lose dad. It's hard on me too but I guess I can deal with it easier. Mom's been more silent and distant than ever. She keeps on weeding and tilling the soil, always watering her plants, does whatever she can in the garden. Before dad died, they were always talking privately, in the kitchen early in the morning I'd hear them. She's hurting the most, I guess everyone has something their real passionate about, it's also sort of a distraction, to keep our minds of-of things" _Jordan said, shrugging her shoulders, choking on some words. Juvia knew about Gray's photography. His pictures where amazing and they weren't ordinary, Gray took pride in them. Juvia often saw him clicking away at anything he saw, his blue eyes sparkling with passion and wonder but Jordan was right, Gray didn't take pictures anymore.

Jordan and Juvia talked about many things while they sat on her bed, she described the days after her father's death and her last memories of him. Sadness also appeared in her eyes. It was nightfall when Gray finally knocked on the door and announced dinner. The two girls closed their books and followed him down to the kitchen. Before dinner, Juvia called her dad and told him she was at the Breck's, her father wanted to talk to Gray and Juvia passed the phone to him standing beside her.

Gray raised his eyebrows as he took the phone from her but Juvia just shrugged her shoulders and stood in front of him to listen. Gray looked at her while he talked, one of his hands in his jean pocket, with his head bowed into the phone, black hair fell over his face.

"_Good evening Mr. Carter"_ Juvia shifted her weight and strained to listen, moving closer to him. She heard something about safety and it being too late. Gray just nodded and smiled at her. Juvia processed this and tried to piece together the little things she heard for a minute and her eyes bulged at the idea. Her father was asking Gray to take her home.

_Oh crap_. Juvia was so embarrassed she turned away from Gray and looked at the ceiling, pleading that she'd misinterpreted their conversation. Finally Gray dropped the phone to the receiver and laughed when he saw her. He came in front of her and shook off the few strands of hair that covered his eyes.

"_You don't have to"_ Juvia whispered, cracking her knuckles. Her eyes stared at her shoes and peaked at him under her lashes. Gray's hands were now both shoved in his pockets.

"_S'kay, your father's right, it's already dark, besides it's nice to be a gentleman sometimes. I'd like to take you home Rae, If that's fine with you_" Gray said shrugging his shoulders. Juvia though and decided it was for the better. She nodded up at hi, deep inside she felt kind of excited at the thought that Gray was gonna escort her home, and Jordan called out to them.

Jordan said grace and they feasted on fish fillets and chicken stew. Gray sat beside her and Jordan across the table. They all ate in silence till Jordan burped loudly and excused herself with a smile they all broke into laughter even Ul managed a smile.

When Juvia finally had to leave she said goodbye to Ul and embraced her. Turning to Jordan they both laughed at her because she refused to let go of Juvia's hand and so Juvia promised that she'd be back. Gray walked her home and they talked about his sister. He was also confused when Jordan started reading a lot of science books, he thought it was real weird for Jordan to like it but he'd just let her be and Jordan was a lot nicer to him after that.

Juvia broke out of her reverie and answered the call.

"_Hey Io, God I missed you! Could you come to the university? Some bastard trashed my bicycle and you know how I feel about cabs."_ Her voice said hurriedly over the phone.

"_There just cabs Jordan, yellow and harmless"_ Juvia replied, her direction heading for the parking lot, digging into her satchel with her other hand, feeling for her keys.

"_Those shitty yellow death traps of hell? NEVER again !Pleeeaasee..I'll owe you pizza, extra cheese, no pepperoni just like you want"_

"_When will you get over that little accident? Oh and Jordan, that was my bicycle remember? Damn alright. Two pizzas and it's a deal, I just came from Dr. Jellal's and I'm starving" ._

"_Mmm" _Juvia could just imagine her friend fidgeting and biting her lip_. _Contemplating.

"_How expensive can two boxes of pizza be?" _She said while opening her car door.

" _Okay, okay, two pizzas..WITH pepperoni! You know I like pepperoni" _Jordan pleaded.

"_Okay deal, I'll be there in 5" _She said with a smile and drove.

She saw her friend waiting at the driveway, it was starting to drizzle and students ran across the road. Wearing a white lab coat over a brown turtleneck, jeans and 4 inch pink platforms, Jordan waved excitedly, fuchsia highlights bouncing, and a big smile on her pretty face. Stopping beside her, Juvia opened the passenger door.

"_Hiya" _Jordan said as she got in.

"_Hi, how's school?" _Juvia shifted in her seat to look at her.

"_Same old shit, nothing new, well there's this new French teacher. He's rat faced, kinda doughy in the middle, you know those 'I know everything and you don't' types" _Jordan rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue. _"You see he said he was on a diet, his wife made him do it and at lunch break, I had this donut and he was staring at it, salivating and licking his lips, it was soo disgusting"_

"_Did you give it to him?"_

"'_Course not, I ate it in front of him very slowly like I'm saying 'Mmm..delicious donut, too bad for your fucking diet' "_

"_I never thought you were a bully" _Juvia started the car.

"_Well it's for his own good"_

"_Hey, here use my phone"_ Juvia said as she handed her friend her phone and started down the road.

"_Use it for what?"_ Jordan asked with her left eyebrow raised.

"_To order pizza, extra cheese"_

"_Bu-"_

"_And pepperoni" _Juvia interrupted.

"_Hallelujah!" _Jordan beamed. "_Thank God for pepperoni and friendship"_

Juvia drove towards The Glasshouse as Jordan ordered their pizza. Jordan didn't have a problem with using the stairs. She thought it was Juvia's "thing", regretting it halfway through when she sat on a stair and panted like dog. Juvia finally got her to stand and they continued climbing the stairs. Juvia endured Jordan's endless whining, dragging her along the arm. Finally reaching her apartment, Jordan crashed on the couch, Stranger went straight to Juvia and she rubbed his head tenderly.

After they'd eaten the pizza and cleaned up. The two friends sat on Juvia's bed with hot mugs of coffee, with little marshmallows on Jordan's. Juvia was across her friend sitting crossed-legged and sipped slowly from her steaming mug. Jordan talked about the other students and midterms and her rock band, enthusiastically talking about how she thought their new drummer was incredibly cute. Jordan filled the silence with her enthusiastic chatter. Juvia listened quietly, smiling at her friend whom she'd missed. Juvia hadn't seen her for a whole week, they both had busy schedules. It was nice for them just to sit and talk after a while apart.

"_Pepperoni will end me one day" _Juvia said with a laugh.

"_Cabs will end me one day" _Jordan countered. She took a sip from her coffee and set it down on the side table. With a grunt she collapsed on the bed with her hands behind her back. Exhaustion took over then a weird expression played her face.

"_What is it?"_ Juvia asked. She also placed her mug down and lay beside her friend.

Jordan turned her head and stared her. Juvia could see her little reflection in her friend's blue eyes, she waited and said nothing. After eons later Jordan said in a whisper.

"_Brother's coming back"_

* * *

"_Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the world goes on."_ - Mary Oliver


	4. Sillhouettes

I planned on updating this a little longer but I just couldn't help it. This chapter may be a little bit confusing, sorry for that. :)

* * *

_-Silhouettes_

It took Juvia 3 seconds to process what she'd heard_. Brother's coming back, _the words repeating and repeating in her mind. She tried to twist and bend every word, trying to find another meaning besides the one she feared most.

"_Oh_" she finally managed.

"_Oh? That's it? That's all you have to say?" _Jordan rose and placed her shoulders behind her to support her weight. Her blue eyes shocked at Juvia's lack of reaction. _"Well that was underwhelming. I thought you'd be more freaked out about this than I am. I was expecting shouting and hysterical whining, but this, this is way more boring that what I've drawn in my head"_

"_When?"_ Juvia asked in a small voice. She couldn't focus her thoughts. Gray was coming back. _He'll be here, I'll see him and, and then what? What do I say? What will he say? Gray! Will he even talk to me? Would he recognize me? _She thought frantically. She was beginning to breathe rapidly and her lungs hurt out of exertion. Juvia buried her face in her pillows and trembled, as her hand went to her chest and gripped her shirt. Was she having a panic attack?

" _Three days from now, Juvia?"_ Jordan replied, placing her hand on Juvia's shoulder_."Hey, hey are you okay? You're breathing really hard. Do you have asthma or something? Hey Juvia, Violette? You never told me you had asthma, wait, wait here I'll get your inhaler or ..Oh! Maybe a paper bag or something, those work too right?..I'll be right back, you stay where you are..."_ Juvia felt the bed lift as Jordan rushed out of bed.

Juvia heard Jordan rummage through her stuff and Stranger barking. She tried to breath. _Yes that's it, just breathe Violette_, She thought to herself. Here head swam with vivid images of him. Gray, with his black messy hair, eyes that shifted from clear sapphire to a cold blue ice, his deep voice and his laughter, she remembered it all. Juvia felt like she was submerged in icy water. She tried to gather her thoughts and she willed herself to gain control, breathing more evenly she faced the ceiling. _Your overreacting Juvia, _she scolded herself_. _Jordan's rummaging became more frantic. She rose and sat at the edge of the bed.

"_Inhaler, paper bag, inhaler, paper bag, mushrooms, inhaler, paper bag... I can't find anything, Oh fuck, she's gonna die! Help! Help!"_ Jordan began screaming.

Juvia heard her run out the door and she followed quickly. She found her friend knocking on the door of a neighbouring room with a sock in her hand. A room she knew was empty, this was, after all, the 20th floor.

" _Is anybody there, my friend needs hel-" _Juvia clamped her hand tightly over her frantic friend's mouth, cutting her sentence. Jordan screamed into her hand even more, whipping the sock at her attacker.

"_Jordan, Jordan, look I'm okay. You don't need to do that okay? Jeez, stop hitting me. I'm gonna take off my hand But. Do. Not. Scream. " _Juvia whispered in her friend's ear. Jordan nodded, her eyes staring back at Juvia and her hair was a tangle of black and fuchsia, her body rigid and slightly bent backwards. Jordan tapped her hand and Juvia slowly let go.

"_Pepperoni!"_

Jordan screamed with a laugh in her voice, the shout ringing through the hallway. Juvia's ears hurt as she was standing directly by Jordan's mouth, immediately clamping her hands against her ears. Jordan sat cross legged on the floor and giggled. Juvia sighed and sat in front of her and cracked a smile. Jordan laughed till her shoulders trembled, her high-pitched voice like Christmas bells. Abruptly, she stopped and narrowed her blue eyes at Juvia, who remained silent.

"_You scared the be-Jesus out of me" _Jordan whispered and pouted.

"_I know"_ Juvia looked down _"I'm sorry, I overreacted"._

Jordan grinned and they sat in silence. Juvia fidgeted with her hands. Cracking her knuckles and bending her wrist, the sounds slicing through the quiet. Juvia brought her thoughts back to Gray. Juvia heard from Jordan that he went to a photography school in a foreign country and worked with a famous photographer across the continent, that was years ago. Juvia had never seen him since she left him in that dark room. Gray had tried to contact her a few days after the incident, calling her, waiting outside her classroom, trying to make eye contact with her but Juvia remained distant and only looked and spoke to him when needed.

It took a lot out of her. She knew she was acting out of bitterness and she felt like a spoiled brat, just because Gray didn't feel the same way about her. But what he did hurt her greatly, every time she saw him, all she could think of was his last words. _I don't, I don't, I don't, _the two words stuck to her memory and she couldn't help but repeat it herself. There were a lot of times when she almost gave in, Juvia remembered him knocking at her door.

"_Rae, Rae" _Gray 's voice was desperate. His knocks had been going on for quite a time. Juvia was alone in the house. Her parents had gone out to take Reese to a studio downtown. Her sister had whined for days now and their parents finally gave in. Juvia just took a pass on it, saying that she was okay with staying home. Juvia sat on the couch, with her knees curled up to her chest and her head in between them, trying to drown out his voice. The lights were out and the drapes shut. Juvia wished she'd gone with her parents. Gray's knocks had turned into bangs.

" _Juvia Violette Rae Carter, I know you're in there. I don't wanna have to destroy your door, open up! Please, I need to see you"_. He still persisted. Juvia heard him sigh heavily. Hearing his voice made her chest tighten. Tears started to burn in her eyes. Juvia still didn't move, she didn't want to see him, even to hear his name gave her little pangs of pain.

Her father had drove her home when he'd come looking for her the day Juvia ran out from Gray. They went straight home and her mother was so worried that she was waiting in the driveway. Juvia didn't explain anything. She didn't mention anything about why her clothes were dirty and wet, why her eyes were red and swollen and why she was sitting alone in a parking lot. She could barely speak, her throat was so sore that her voice came out as croaks. Juvia's parents discussed in the kitchen, their backs to her, they whispered in hurried tones and worried gestures.

They must've decided not to ask for they just kept quiet and concentrated on their daughter. Juvia thought that they probably suspected that Gray was the cause of her distressed situation. Her father had been giving him odd looks these past few days. They've never heard Juvia tell them if they were ever together. As for her sister, she just did what she always does, roll her eyes and call Juvia a baby. But after their mother talked to her, Reese just let her be.

That day she slept till her head heart and her body began to feel sore. She'd wake up several times, feeling drained and more exhausted than ever. Juvia cried every time she woke up, the pain fresher with each waking moment. _Don't be a baby Juvia. _She'd scolded herself like Reese would. Her mother went to check on her every now and then, stroked her hair and left some snacks and water. She never touched the food.

Juvia heard Gray sit in front of the door. _Why isn't he leaving?_ She thought to herself. Juvia knew it was unfair for him, not having the chance to explain but she also decided that whatever would come out of his mouth would only make things even more complicated, but she didn't know that for sure.

"_Please Rae, you don't have to say anything, just let me see you. I need to know your fine. This is killing me, Rae please."_ Gray's voice was pleading, full of pain, a tone she'd never heard from him. Her hand flinched but Juvia stopped herself from moving, from opening the door and looking him in the eye. This was better for all of them, their time had brought good memories and it was fun but it ended the way it did. Juvia didn't want to turn back.

"_Damn it Juvia!" _His fist banged at the door so hard it made Juvia jump. from his tone she could see that he was getting angry, his voice rose with every word he spoke. "_Okay, if you don't want to see me, that's fine. I can deal with that, just give me a fucking sign, for all I know you're dying in there, Violette just a sign". _Juvia imagined Gray's face as he spoke. His eyes restless, jaw clenched, every muscle taut.

"_If that's what it takes for you to leave" _Juvia whispered to the darkness and got up. She went to the window closest to the door and parted the blinds just enough to take a peak and laid her hand to the window, the rest of her body hidden behind the blinds. If Gray were to see her it would only be her silhouette.

For Gray it was enough, he rushed to the window where her hand appeared. _"Oh God"_ He sighed and rested his forehead on the glass were her hand was pressed. Juvia clenched her jaw and refused to look, a tear fell and it made her whimper, knowing that he was so close with just a sheet of glass separating them. Before she could do anything rash, Juvia stepped away, retrieving her hand and placing it to her heart, covering it with the other. Now the tears fell freely.

" _Rae" _Gray said sadly, almost as sad as when he said it in the rain when she comforted him. Juvia could see his shape outlined through the blinds. His shoulders slumped. She could see his hand go up and rest on the glass, slowly he let it fall and brought it up again to rake it through his hair. After a few moments he left. Juvia just stood still, listening as his footsteps slowly faded away. Her knees felt weak and they collapsed beneath her. Juvia backed up till her back hit the back of the coach, there she hugged her knees and cried once again, her throat burning and her eyes shut tight. The rain followed not long after. That was how her parents found her.

"_Jordan I-" _ She said after breaking out of the memory.

" _No, don't explain. I know it's hard, I just wanted you to know, I guess I should've said it in a, a subtler way, sorry" _Jordan said with a shrug. _"I know you've tried to recover, tried very hard, and I believe that it's not just for your sake but for him as well. You do want to make things right, right? But those dreams of yours just won't go away, won't they? If-if they weren't there, would-would you talk to him?" _She finished. Now she was the one fidgeting.

"_You know I would. I could try, even with these dreams, I know I could try. If it weren't for the dreams, we would've all been much happier" _Juvia said with sadness in her voice.

" _He'd like that, I mean if you wanted to talk to him again, he'd be happy about it"_ . Jordan got up and brushed her jeans with her hands. _"Definitely" _she said with a smile and offered her open hand to Juvia.

"_I hope so" _Juvia muttered to herself as she took Jordan's hand.

Stranger then took that time to appear. Silently approaching them, he nudged Juvia's leg and barked up at Jordan.

"_Hey there big guy" _Jordan greeted.

"_You know, I'm surprised you didn't startle him as much when you ransacked my apartment." _Juvia said as she started walking back to her room, Stranger at her heels. Her hands fanned around her, brushing her jeans.

"_He's your dog after all" _Jordan said with a yawn, flipping her hair behind her with a shake of her head. They went back and it was a mess, everything was opened, scattered and misplaced. Juvia was too tired to complain.

Juvia sat heavily on her couch. Jordan went into the kitchen and brought her a glass of water. Sitting down beside her, she led Juvia's head toward her shoulder and slowly stroked her hair. Juvia let her friend hold her and a minute later, Jordan began singing. Her voice vibrated through the room, she was singing a lullaby to calm Juvia down. Juvia just closed her eyes and listened, on the verge of sleep.

Stranger sat in front of them and laid his head on the edge of the couch, staring up at them, probably listening too. His ears were perked up and his tail was wagging, hitting the floor with soft thumps.

They sat like that for a while, Juvia was beginning to feel sleepy. She rose and met Jordan's worried gaze. She was worried that Juvia might not want to see her brother, that she'd totally shut him out of her life, never forgive him for what he did to her. Juvia spent years evaluating what she'd do for the moment they met again, she wasn't a teenager anymore and on way or another she'd have to face him. She would want to start over, but that was all she could think of to do. No words ever formed in her mind on how she'd tell him that she chose to give it another shot.

After years of thinking about it, Juvia finally decided that she was unfair to him, not giving him enough time to explain. Even though their relationship was way beyond friendship it didn't mean that he loved her too, maybe she just overestimated her value to him. This made Juvia guilty for running out that door. That was her resolve but it was slowly weakening against the barrage of dreams that reminded her of the pain, reigniting it in her heart.

Juvia smiled at Jordan, projecting with her eyes that everything would be alright. She knew it hurt Jordan what her brother did to Juvia, but she wanted her to forgive him and Juvia planned on doing just that, hoping that he too would forgive her. The only problem was that she just didn't know how.

Stranger barked up at them and went to the kitchen. The two laughed and followed him, Jordan told her that that was God's sign that they should stop mopping around and make dinner. Juvia and Jordan divided the work. She would marinate the steak and fry it after and Juvia would take care of the garnishing and the vegetables. The two cooked to Nirvana's _Heart-Shaped Box_, Jordan's favourite song. She'd given Juvia an album for Christmas and now Juvia loved them to. Jordan head-banged at the chorus and shook her hips, singing at some verses. Juvia just quietly watched her friend and listened to the music.

Their friendship was not affected by Juvia and Gray's tense situation, instead Jordan took a neutral side and never offered her opinion, and this was her way of keeping things to Juvia and Gray. She knew that siding with anyone would make things very complicated, it would either ruin their friendship if she helped Gray see her again or destroy her relationship with her brother if she tried to keep Juvia away from him. Or maybe she was just too scared to butt in.

They ate their steak with red wine. It was delicious and perfectly tender. Juvia complimented her and Jordan bowed exaggeratedly, acting rich and snobby while she ate, exaggerating her speech, raising her pinkie when she drank and held her spoon, even lifted her eyebrow every time she looked up from her plate. Juvia could barely eat from laughing too much, she knew this was Jordan trying to cheer her up. They also let Stranger join them, filling his bowl with dog food. Jordan even gave Stranger a bowtie, it loosely hung from his furry neck. Jordan began to chatter again about her life and sometimes nonsense, Juvia also talked a little about her job.

After they'd finished eating, Jordan went home, complaining about pizza prices and having no neighbours. She looked tired and her black-fuchsia hair was tussled all over her face. Juvia pinched her friend's cheek and sent her on her way with a smile.

"_I'll see you soon okay?"_ Juvia said as she pulled her friend's skin.

"_Mm-kay, make sure you buy lots of paper bags next time"_ Jordan answered and leaned in to kiss her cheek. Juvia locked the door behind her and sat in front of it.

Ever since they were introduced, they'd become instant friends, they shared secrets and experiences Juvia would never forget. They were each other's number one supporter and critic. They'd fought about the existence of mermaids and whether Elton John was gay or not, they even bought friendship rings and bracelets and all the other friendship crap. They had a rule that they'd always be honest with each other. Jordan said it was a girl thing to have a rule with your best friend. Juvia hoped it was still unbroken, after all she knew nothing that she'd keep from Jordan.

Juvia smiled at the thought but too quickly her mind shifted to something else.

Now she had to think.

_One at a time Violette_. Her thoughts told her.

Gray was coming back in three days.

She'd have to face him one way or another.

She'd have no idea what to say.

No idea where to start.

_Okay, just go with whatever happens. _She thought again. Her heart ached with the pains of the past. She tried hard to move on from the heartbreak, she hoped it worked. Juvia wanted to face him with a clear mind and a light heart. She wanted to start again. If only her dreams didn't come to her every night, If only they didn't remind her. Juvia sighed and ran her hand over her face. _If only._

She got up and went to her room. Stranger was already comfortably sleeping, placed at one corner of her room. _" Goodnight Stranger" _she whispered. She picked out shorts and a cotton shirt from her closet and changed slowly. She got in her bed and pulled the sheets to her chin. Juvia stared at the ceiling.

"_Gray" _

The name felt so alien to her yet at the same time felt so familiar. She'd called it millions of times 6 years ago, and a couple of times these past few weeks, when she'd see his face in her dreams. The name of the man that skewered, obliterated, demolished her heart, the same man that filled that same heart with love and happiness.

Juvia slept with his face on her mind.

* * *

_"Love is heavy and light, bright and dark, hot and cold, sick and healthy, asleep and awake- its everything except what it is! "_  
―William Shakespeare, _Romeo and Juliet __(Act 1, scene 1)_

Please don't hesitate to review or comment, I deeply appreciate them and I also get tons of inspiration from them. Till the next chapter..:)


	5. Silver

Sorry for the mistakes, I kinda rushed this so I could update before New Year. Again, thanks for reading this far and I hope to write more chapters for you guys. If you have any questions about the story or if there is something you find confusing, please don't hesitate to review or PM me.

* * *

_-Silver _

Sunlight hit Juvia's face as she walked down the paved sidewalk. Pine trees grew beside where she walked, little pinecones hung above her and the trees shed their needles as she passed by. With earphones in her ears and books in her hands, Juvia hummed to Vivaldi's Four Seasons: Spring.

She looked up to see the bright blue sky, cloudless and vast in its cerulean glory. It reminded her of a certain someone's eyes. She smiled at that thought and rounded the corner, heading for the coffee shop. Her white dress flowed with the wind as it blew, soft cotton brushing around her knees, it was a good summer breeze.

"_Rae"_ She heard the endearment through the violins in her ear. She turned her head and saw him. Standing underneath a tree, his face was shadowed, hidden underneath his red hood. But that lazy smile gave her beloved Gray away. She smiled and walked towards him, taking off her earphones. He met her halfway, tugging his hood behind, revealing his sapphire eyes and ink black hair. Juvia felt her smile widen and her eyes glimmer, there was a sudden bounce to her step and a tingling sensation at her fingertips.

He was wearing a black shirt underneath his jacket, dark jeans and black Chucks. Juvia caught the scent of soap and light cologne on him. As she stood in front of him, Gray opened his arms and Juvia happily stepped into them, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face in his shoulder. It's been days since they'd last seen each other, longer since they'd touched. Midterms were coming and they both had papers to write and books to read.

"_Gray"_ She greeted, her words muffled by his jacket.

He hugged her tighter, bringing Juvia's body closer to his, almost lifting her, and rocked back and forth. Juvia smiled underneath his jaw, she could barely breathe with him so close. After a moment he released her and put his hands on her shoulders, smiling down at her, his blue eyes as clear as the sky behind him. Her eyes studied his face, her excitement of seeing him again barely contained.

"_I missed you" _She said softly. Gray leaned into her and rested his forehead against hers, this was their own way of saying hello. They stayed like that for a while and Gray finally pulled back, still keeping his hands on her shoulders.

"_Coffee?"_ He said, raising his eyebrows.

"Sure" She said, smiling back up at him.

Gray bent back down and kissed her forehead tenderly. His lips where smooth on her skin, red fabric filled her vision and his scent made its way to her nose. She was intimately aware of his presence, consuming her senses and making her skin all tingly, it made her smile wider. He took her hand in his and her books in another and led Juvia the rest of the way.

After that moment in the rain and him taking her to his house, Juvia and Gray spent much time with each other when they could, getting closer than they've ever been. Juvia thought of it as the happiest moments of her life, spending time with him, being able to see and talk and touch him, knowing that he wanted it too. Gray became her paradise and Juvia became his happiness. Their relationship was already on the border of friendship and love, although none had ever brought it up during their multiple conversations.

Gray turned back to her and flashed his pirate grin.

_Beep. Beep. Beep_

Juvia opened her eyes. Breathing slowly and deeply, she sighed and reached for her alarm clock. She was sweating and trembling. That last dream left her as quick as the previous ones, although it was almost pleasant, it was still a memory, of him, and the pleasantness of that dream made it harder to bare. She laid her head back to the pillows with a thud and closed her eyes again. Juvia tried to calm herself, following her routine of breathing slowly and massaging her temples.

Feeling better after a few minutes, she hopped out of bed and opened the blinds, warm sunlight entered her room and she saw fluffy clouds decorate the sky. Juvia rested her head against the glass of her window. _"It felt so real" _she said to herself. Everything about that dream, from the violins in her ear to Gray's scent felt so real to Juvia. Juvia changed into her running gear, took Stranger with her, tugging him by his leash and ran into the waking city, hoping to forget.

She set her pace and jogged towards Magnolia Central Park, her shoes connecting quietly with the pavement. She watched the people that passed by, some holding cups of coffee, some covering their yawns with their hands, some just sleepily walking by like zombies looking for brains to eat. Stranger steadily matched her pace and they both ran in silence.

30 minutes later, Juvia got out of the shower and changed into a white cashmere sweater, dark jeans and combat boots. Stepping out again, she stuffed her earphones in her ears and walked to work.

In her office, Juvia sat down and grabbed the first folder she found on her table.

" _Secrets of The Stradivarius"_ She read the first line. _"by Wes Ford"_ it said underneath the title.

As soon as she read the first paragraph, the story consumed her, for hours she sat there reading the type-written manuscript.

It was about a thief named Rogue who stole a Stradivarius, the most well-made violins carry the name of that legendary craftsman. Rogue was a middle-aged man who was fired from his job as a music teacher. He had no wife, no children, just a rented apartment and a worn-out car. He kept the stolen instrument in his home, not knowing what to do with it, he didn't want to sell it, no that wasn't his purpose, he just saw it one day and had a strong urge to make it his.

A week after the crime he found his autistic niece, sitting in the living room with the priceless instrument in her hands, staring at it wonderingly. She'd been left with him after her parents died in a fire. Ever since, he fathered her as his own. All his money went to taking care of her, he never shunned her or felt disgust or inconvenience towards the little girl.

"_Rogue" _She said, grinning up at him. It was the only word he'd ever heard her say. He tried to teach her a few words, read to her often but his name was the only word she could utter. His name became her expressions, her questions and her answers.

Rogue watched as months passed by, as his niece slowly made progress, learning to play the stolen violin, getting better and better every day without a teacher to guide her. At first he assisted her, bringing back his knowledge of music, but the girl would leave and lock herself away in her room and continue to play alone. He was astonished, his crime brought a miracle to this little girl, it brought out her God-given talent. He would hear Bach, Shubert, Hayd and even Mozart through her door. She'd hugged it like a teddy bear and spoke to it like it answered back.

In time, Rogue was arrested. Trapped inside the steel grip of prison, he worried for his niece. He prayed and pleaded to whoever would hear him from above. No one ever visited him, not one soul did he recognize from the visitors that came and went. This made his fears grow, he nearly went mad, but the face of his niece in his head kept his sanity. Years later and he was a free man, eager to see his niece he searched for her immediately, looking for any sign, tapping people's shoulders asking if they'd seen her. All his efforts went to waste as he found no trace.

He sat at the park and it was almost twilight, he heard music playing from the plaza, it drawed him closer till he was standing at the back of the crowd. The notes were divine and precise weaving into a melody that was so nostalgic it almost made Rogue tear up. Looking up to see at the violinist, Rogue found his niece, once a little girl but now all grown up, playing at the stage of a Fiore Julliard concert, a Stradivarius in her hands expertly playing with an angelic expression on her face. Finally all the music stopped and his niece looked towards an awaiting family watching in the sidelines.

Juvia set the folder down. Contemplating what she'd just read. It was so creative and uncanny that she was sure it would be a hit. Her body was stiff from lack of movement and her legs began to feel numb. A yawn escaped her mouth and she quickly covered it with her hand. She needed caffeine.

"_Hey Lana?"_ she called out over the pager to her assistant _"could you please get me coffee, black no sugar, thanks"_

"_Yes Ma'am"_ Lana said over the mic.

Lisanna Jean Richards was her junior in high school, they often talked during many lunch breaks. Juvia thought of her as a little sister, and now she was all grown and Juvia didn't hesitate to recommend her to the company. The Lana of high school was tall and awkward, she'd worn glasses and overalls, with long ice blonde hair dancing all around her. She suddenly left and went abroad only to return with a lot of improvement, both in appearance and confidence. The Lana now was tall and curvy, she wore her hair in a short bob, bouncing as she walked, with light-brown eyes and a killer mouth. She'd turned into a gorgeous woman over the years. She'd told Lana not to call her Ma'am, it made her feel old and bossy, but Lana got so used to it in her previous jobs that she couldn't drop the honorific.

Her assistant entered 15 minutes later, carrying a steaming ceramic mug. She set it down in front of Juvia and smiled. Lana wore a bright pink blouse, tight black jeans and nude pumps, It was so feminine and unlike when she was in high school that the sight of her made Juvia swell with pride. Lana was still a little introverted but she could now manage to socialize better.

After Lana left, Juvia picked up the mug and another folder. She read and drank her coffee at the same time, the black liquid scorched her tongue, she swallowed it anyway.

Several minutes later a knock on Juvia's door startled her. She closed the finished folder and straightened herself. _"May I help you?" _She said to the person behind the door, her empty mug hidden from view.

"_Is it a bad time?"_ A deep voice said. Mystery person was most definitely male.

" _No, come in, please" _she answered.

The door opened and revealed a tall and handsome man with ash brown hair and grey eyes, not much older than her, Juvia estimated. His features were different than the average local, _Probably mixed blood_ Juvia thought to herself. His skin was a little paler than hers, and his aura felt rugged and refined at the same time. He wore all black, black polo, black suit and dress shoes, he wore it in a way that didn't make him look like a punk. He smiled apologetically at her and reached out his hand.

"_Nice to meet you Ms. Violette, I'm Lyon Wes Ford, although you can just call me Lyon, if you'd like". _The man said as Juvia rose and shook his extended hand. He was definitely handsome up close. _Totally not punk. _Her hand was easily dwarfed by his. On closer inspection, Lyon's eyes were almost more silver than gray, clear as he assessed her.

"_Nice to meet you too Mr. Ford, you can call me Juvia or just Io, If you'd like" _She said mimicking him, that made him chuckle, revealing his white teeth. They both sat and Juvia handed him the folder.

"_Your manuscript is brilliant" _Juvia continued. _"It really is something else"_

"_Thanks, it's nice to hear that" _Lyon suddenly sounded worn out, probably from too much writing and lack of sleep.

" _How so? You probably get that a lot. Unless, am I the first to read this?" _Juvia asked, leaning forward, her eyebrow rising. His writing was worth many praises, she was curious as to why he said that.

"_Yeah, I was really nervous, Rogue's story took me about 2 months to formulate, another 13 to write and a year to finally show it to anyone-" _Lyon cleared his throat then laughed nervously _"I'm sorry, you're really not what I expected"._

"_What were you expecting?" _Juvia raised her brow, slightly smirking. "_ Let me guess, middle-aged woman, glasses and red lipstick, pencil-drawn eyebrows and derogatory speech? _Juvia said, imagining herself as what she described. No one expected her to be the way she was.

Lyon laughed softly and spoke less formally _"Yeah, add a lot of wrinkles to that and your spot on"_

"_Well I'm sorry to disappoint your expectations" _Juvia said shrugging her shoulders, her eyes never leaving his handsome face_." It's okay, you're not the first one, I guess I'm not physically adequate for an editor"_

"_No, no I didn't mean it that way, it's just a stupid stereotype. You over qualify in fact, it's just that, I never expected my editor to be so young and- and be so pretty". _Lyon whispered the last part but Juvia caught it._ " I didn't expect her to be you, I'm not making sense am I?" _Lyon said softly. He sat up straighter and clasped his hands in front of him, not sure if he should've said that. His eyes were concentrated downward and his eyebrows were pulled together. _"too much for a first impression?"_

Juvia was taken aback by what he'd said. She knew people were surprised by how young she was but never did they compliment her out load like he did, at least not in a malicious way. Juvia wanted to be professional but she appreciated that he'd say that. She swallowed a lump that had formed in her throat.

"_No, its okay, its fine, thanks, you're not bad yourself"_ Juvia returned the compliment. Lyon smiled up at her and the all the tension seemed to go away.

As the time passed, they talked more about his work and Juvia assured him that she would definitely recommend it for publishing. The subject turned to his experiences as a writer, as Juvia intently listened, she found herself impressed by this man. He always, always smiled and looked her in the eye whenever he wanted her to understand what he was saying. Lyon laughed at her when she told him that she hated peanut butter and began listing all the things she hated. He just kept on nodding and choking back his laughter, he said he'd never heard anyone bad mouth peanut butter before. They just talked, shared their stories about their careers.

Lyon Wes Ford was 25, he started writing after he finished college at a very early age. He admitted that his family was wealthy as they were a family of lawyers. Apparently, he was the only one to stray from that line of profession, the black sheep, the wild child of the family. He said he didn't want to be a stuck-up, constipated looking, bald when he's 40 lawyer. Juvia laughed at his description.

"_Would you like to get lunch or just coffee sometime?"_ He said before he left, with his back to her and his head turned.

"_I don't see why not" _Juvia said with a smile.

"_Alright, Just call me whenever" _He returned his smile "_Goodbye Juvia". _The dashing man said softly and left. Juvia blushed while she stared out the window where the sun shined bright.

Juvia thought of Mr. Ford as she walked up the stairs of The Glasshouse, smiling foolishly to herself. It gave her a nice feeling to meet someone refreshing, a handsome man at that, who even complimented her so smoothly like he was just talking about the weather. She dug in her purse for her keys while walking .When she raised her eyes she saw a figure sitting beside her door.

Jordan was crying softly, her hands trembling in her lap.

* * *

_"Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet." _  
- Plato

Till the next chapter!


	6. Black Flag

Hey guys, I'm gonna update a bit slower this time since I'm having a little writer's block, sorry! Thanks again for reading this far and please review if you loved, liked or even hated this chapter, I appreciate it very much.

* * *

_- Black Flag_

Juvia woke up at the sound of a scream. Confused at first when she realized it wasn't her making the noise then startled, she tried to focus her eyes on the figure beside her. Jordan began to cry, her blue eyes wild with terror, she had her arms around her, her hands digging deep into her skin. Her friend was trembling and her legs were tucked tightly to her chest. Juvia wiped her eyes to see if she was still dreaming, no she didn't imagine it, Jordan had a bad dream, not her. She couldn't help the feeling of relief that washed through her. She sat up and rubbed her friend's back in soothing motions, trying to calm her down, she knew very well the feeling of waking up from a nightmare. It felt as if you had no room and even air to breathe, your whole body is unresponsive to your will and it's as if chains are holding you down. To Juvia who had mastered this feeling, she still found it terrifying every time her dreams came.

"_Shh..shh Jordan, It's alright, It's alright"_ She said in a motherly voice, still rubbing circles over her Jordan's tense back. "_You want to talk about it?"_

"_There-there where cabs, everywhere, all I could see was yellow, circling around me, like yellow vultures waiting to attack. They had their headlights on and I couldn't see anything but the cabs. It kept going on and on. They were gonna kill me Io. Cabs are after me"_ Jordan said, her voice trembling.

Juvia said nothing for a moment, trying to process what her friend had said. _"O-okay Jordan, there are no cabs here. Were safe in my room, far from those e-evil.. things, so pfft..so your safe now"_ Juvia said in the most comforting tone she could muster at the moment, holding back the laughter that threatened to escape. That was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard.

It was just hours ago that she was daydreaming about Lyon when Juvia found her friend sitting at her front door, crying her heart out. Her things were scattered in front of her, notebooks, pens, a pack of Cheetos and her wallet spilled out from her bag. Her face was messy with mascara and tears, she was biting her fingernails and rocking back and forth, staring intensely at the pack of junk food in front of her, like it was going to sprout wings and fly away. Juvia slowly made her way towards her friend, wary and confused. She called out to her softly and Jordan's head immediately turned to the origin of her name. When Jordan saw her she cried harder and sniffled and coughed.

"_Vi-Violeette..ugghhh_" Jordan cried out, almost tripping on her stuff when she tried to get up, her foot accidentally crushing the poor bag of cheesy treats. More confused, Juvia was unprepared for the sudden bear hug that Jordan unleashed upon her, making them both stumble backwards.

Juvia had only seen Jordan cry only twice before when she was nearly ran over by a cab outside their school, Jordan only 16 at that time and when her dad had passed away. Wondering why she would cry now, Juvia gathered them both up with some difficulty due to Jordan's dead weight and her wailing, they finally made it inside. Stranger perched from his place, rising up to meet the guest, he padded towards Jordan who collapsed on the floor, shoulders still shaking. Stranger sniffed her at first then settled into his hind legs in front of the sobbing woman. When Jordan saw the dog, she caught him in her embrace, throwing her arms around his furry neck and cried out load like a baby. Stranger reacted to this by mildly struggling and giving out a soft confused whine.

"_Jordan, you'll get mascara all over Stranger" _Juvia said with a smile but didn't make a move to untangle Jordan from the dog, instead, moved to gather the scattered things of her friend and closed the door.

Jordan slowly let her arms fall to her sides and frowned at Stranger with her messed up face, messing it up more while she tried to wipe her eyes with her hand, now her fingers also had mascara. The dog wagged his tail.

"_Im sowwy, Stwanger"_ Jordan sniffed.

After two cups of coffee and endless crying and wailing, with countless balled-up tissue paper on the floor Jordan finally calmed down. Every time Juvia thought Jordan had stopped crying, a new batch of tears made their way to her eyes and the back rubbing and comforting continued, this went on for probably a good 30 minutes. Juvia finally got a clean towel and wiped her friends face, cleaning away the ruined make- up and the tears, revealing her pale skin, freckles and blue eyes. Jordan sat cross-legged on the kitchen floor with a bowl of mac and cheese in her hands and told Juvia what had happened.

" _Do you remember the-the new drummer I told you 'bout two days ago? The one I said who was really cute and charming? Well, he's actually my boyfriend, even before he joined the band we-we were already datin'"._

Juvia just stared at her._ "What?! Jordan, we had a promise. Girl code, remember?" _Juvia could not believe she would keep something like this from her. Boyfriends were a major need-to-know in their friendship, not that Juvia contributed much to that arrangement.

"_Wait, wait I know, I didn't tell you, I just wanted it between me and him that's all, you know for a change? I wanted to kinda try that secret love stuff. Everything else other than him I've told you already. I 'm really sorry- wait, you really took that code thingy seriously?"_

"_Jordan! You made it yourself" _Juvia said exasperated_."You said and I quote 'if we break this sacred promise may our souls be taken away by talking teddy bears and be locked up in a candy store, where they didn't give us any candy and they'd torture us by making us watch while they devour all the delicious, sugar-filled food', unquote."_

"_Oh" _Jordan's face stared at the floor for a minute, bringing a spoonful of her food to her mouth, then finally looked up at her with realization "_Now I remember! I did say that didn't I, too bad there's no talking-teddy bears to take my soul away" _Jordan said triumphantly with food still in her mouth. Juvia just let it go, she was more curious about what happened to Jordan and her unnamed boyfriend.

" _As I was saying, before SOMEONE rudely interrupted me, I moved into his place about a couple of months into our relationship because we were kinda getting serious and I couldn't stand my place anymore, and we were happy the first couple of weeks. This morning I even shaved his beard but, he-he umm..we had an argument a while ago. It was because of me, It was because I forgot to put the toilet seat down and-and change the toilet paper"_

Jordan began to cry again, bringing her hand up to wipe her eyes. Juvia couldn't stop from smiling at what she'd just hear but kept silent and let her friend continue.

"_I know it's stupid, really stupid and immature, but he was really patient with me before, we just got home from a crazy gig and we were really tired, and-and that's when he went into the bathroom and got angry. He's kinda the neat freak between both of us and there's nothing wrong with that it's just that he notices EVERYTHING. He yelled at me saying that I was too irresponsible, too child-like that I couldn't even change the tissue paper. Damn my pride, I didn't back down, God I'm so pathetic. I even defended myself for the toilet seat, for the tissue, I freaking did it for tissue paper, fucking TISSUE PAPER, and he was full of it. He wouldn't talk to me after that, just locked himself up in the guest room. I couldn't take it any longer, so I came here. I even took the damn stairs" _

Jordan finished with a slight tremble in her lower lip. She stared up at Juvia waiting for her to say something. With a sigh, Juvia sat down in front of her friend and ruffled Jordan's hair.

"_Alright, Alright you can stay here till you two make up" _Juvia said. _"Although I'd like to meet him if ever you two make up, okay?"_

Jordan nodded and smiled, her periwinkle eyes twinkling_. "Thanks_" she said in a small voice.

And now here they were, Jordan having cab nightmares and Juvia trying to calm her down. This was so strange, Juvia wouldn't be surprised if it was only a dream. Stranger came and jumped to the bed, he barked at Jordan. Her friend hiccupped and petted the dog, stroking the fur on his head, it seemed that Stranger could sense Jordan's sadness, he also did with Juvia, it was freaking her out right now and she wondered what else Stranger could do. Juvia got up and brought Jordan a glass of water. Everything was fine after that, and they all went back to sleep, with Stranger in the middle of the two girls, Jordan wouldn't let go of him.

The next morning, Juvia found Jordan making pancakes. She wore Juvia's apron and hummed to herself, her hair was tied back, fuchsia strands showing beneath the black, her mouth turned up into a sweet smile. Juvia had never seen her friend look so normal. Jordan looked as if she'd woken up with flowers in her hair and birds chirping in her ears, with animals that could talk to her and a big castle around her. It was not the presence of a person who'd just have a nightmare.

"_Wow_, _you sure look happy. Let me guess, after your nightmare, you dreamed that you were a cape-wearing superhero whose power was to make the cabs of the world disappear with one look, and your name was The Magnificent Pepperoni, the mighty destroyer of man-eating cabs"_ Juvia said, moving towards her friend, the smell of pancakes filling her nose.

"_Close enough, my name was The Pink Slasher, destroyer of evil transportation , I had a shining pepperoni kinda like a light sabre, only circular and I'd fling it to the cabs and they'd all blow up, like in the movies, cool huh. It was all thanks to Stranger, I don't know, I just had the best sleep with him beside me, maybe you should try it, he could become your living, breathing dream catcher, you'd turn into The Vengeful Lady, and kick my brother's ass out of your dreams"._ Jordan stuck her tongue out and dropped the finished pancakes onto an awaiting plate in front of Juvia.

"_Stranger? I never knew I had a magical dog"_ Juvia said and muttered a thank you, flinging syrup over her breakfast. She took a bite and Jordan sat in front of her with a steaming cup of coffee in her hand, with marshmallows added off course.

"_You know what? I think I'll take the day off. Maybe go shopping, skip my classes, buy a new toilet, or-or change my highlights to violet, as tribute to you or something, as thanks for letting me crash". _

"_Suit yourself, you could go all the way and dye your hair with rainbow colors, now that would definitely be a tribute to me"_ Juvia chuckled.

An hour later Juvia descended the stairs with her hair in a braid. Jordan described how good she'd look in it while she fixed Juvia's hair. She just stared at her reflection in the mirror while her friend fussed behind her, she was pretty, that was what Lyon said. Juvia never really considered herself as beautiful, Lana was and even Jordan but her? Juvia guessed she didn't look too bad after all. She had dark brown hair, almost blue-black at a certain distance, fair skin, and her eyes were big green orbs surrounded by long-thick lashes. Juvia had a small, slender figure, not to tall, not too short, it suited her face very well. She kinda admitted to herself right then and there that she had grown into a woman, a very attractive, successful woman. The braids helped too.

Juvia switched her thoughts to something else. What Jordan said throbbed at the back of her mind, Stranger somehow eased Jordan's nightmare. She'd have to try for herself. Having Dr. Jellal helped but it was a slow process, she wanted a cure, fast, and that remedy had just been with her the whole time.

Juvia went to work with the thought that she'd finally be free of her nightmares.

Lyon called her up and took her to lunch at a simple restaurant. Wooden benches and marble tables lined the walls, the menu written in colorful chalk above the counter. He led her to the table farthest from the door only a couple of diners were there so the place was quiet and peaceful, it suited her just fine. Juvia ordered pasta and Lyon ordered the same, adding two iced teas and two blue berry cheesecakes as the young waitress gaped at him, unconsciously scribbling on her pad. He was indeed very charming today, dressed in jeans and a black T-shirt, with only a chain necklace for jewellery tucked inside his shirt, his hair was pushed back in a teenage kind of way that made him look carefree. Juvia was happy to see him again, and she felt a fluttery feeling in her stomach.

She told him about the publishers liking his work, about how they said they'd work on it soon. She told him about Jordan and how unique and wonderful she was, describing to him her line of interests that Lyon found ' ironically fascinating' and left her fear of cabs for last. The food came and they began to eat.

"_I actually know someone like your friend. He has pink hair and he likes to eat spicy food, you'd think of him as a tough guy although he can't take any form of transportation. I'd like to meet your friend someday"_ Lyon softly laughed.

"_She'd like you" _Juvia joined in, bringing her fork encircled by pasta to her mouth.

" _I think we'd hit off pretty well"_ Lyon said after a sip of his iced tea, his grey eyes searching Juvia's face. Lyon looked like he was contemplating something, after a moment he finally asked. _"By the way, do you have a boyfriend?"_

"_Do I what?" _Now she was stunned, almost choking on her food. The question came out of nowhere, as if Lyon just asked her about the weather, it was so casual yet Juvia couldn't bring herself to answer. She bit her lower lip and shifted in her seat.

"_I'm sorry, you probably do" _Lyon answered quickly, twirling the straw between his fingers. He laughed nervously and averted his eyes from her.

_Wait what? Did he just say-_ Juvia's mind slowly processed his words, not wanting to believe this was really happening. _He thinks I'm taken, _answering her own questions in her head, Juvia looked up at him and he met her eyes, smiling awkwardly.

" _No, no, Ugh Wes I-I'm single.."_ Finally recovering from her sudden silence, her mind was a warzone. She couldn't make sense of anything. Lyon's silvery eyes were the only thing that kept her thoughts grounded to Earth. Her hands trembled as she took a sip of her own drink. Swallowing without tasting anything, the cold liquid burned her throat as it went down.

"_Oh, I just assumed, a girl like you would" _His eyes registered surprise, but his lips were twitching like he was holding back a big grin.

Juvia was baffled, how he could ask her a question like that so casually, then assume that she already had a man? _Wow he must think I'm really pretty. _Juvia felt herself slightly become conscious, quickly tucking her hair behind her ear. Another question popped into her head, mustering all the courage she could, Juvia asked. "_Why'd you ask?"_

"_I wouldn't want to chase after an unavailable woman" _He said softly. His posture suggested shyness, but his words where so straightforward that Juvia described him as 'attractively ironic'. _Whatever that means _she said in her mind. But her thoughts came back to his answer, he didn't want to be friends, he wanted something more complicated than that. Juvia felt her heart flutter and the teenage giddiness came back to her again. She didn't realize she had kept quiet for so long, Lyon simply sat and looked at her, trying to assess what she was thinking and how she was gonna react, his eyes like steel. Juvia swallowed deeply, not knowing what to say.

"_Wes I-" _she couldn't even finish her sentence. Juvia felt her cheeks grow hot, her body began to tremble.

"_It's okay, you don't need to force yourself, see you're even using my second name" _Lyon said as he touched Juvia's hand with his fingers. Juvia expected them to be cold and they were but the effect was the opposite, the contact brought warmth to her instantly and it was enough to stop her from trembling. He definitely had a big effect on her. "_It's no rush, really, I just wanted to get it out before you got the wrong idea, just to be clear. I'm sorry I guess I was too straightforward"_ Lyon said and grinned at her.

Juvia knew he meant every word. He was not after friendship, the intensity in his eyes told her that. It was plain in his face when he'd left her office the day they met and in the way he looked at her. _How could I have missed that _Juvia scolded herself. She imagined what she looked like now, with wild surprised eyes and blushing cheeks. She brought her hands up to cool her face, slowly tearing her eyes away from his gaze to look down at her half-finished pasta. She lost her appetite.

"_I'm sorry" _She said in a small voice, her eyes stealing a look at him under her lashes.

Lyon chuckled, bringing his hand over the table to her, he tipped her chin up with his fingers. Juvia had no choice but to meet his steady gaze, brilliant silver eyes, finding no sign of deceit.

" _Please stop apologizing, it's making me guilty here. " _He laughed softly. "_No rush Juvia, you just take your time okay? We could see how things go, If you'd like that."_ Lyon said in a soothing voice.

"_Okay"_ Juvia whispered with a nod and a shy smile_._

Lyon retrieved his hand. _"Okay then"_

Juvia found herself thinking about him as she walked up the stairs, this was happening way too often. Lyon had told her about his intentions. He wanted more than friendship and he liked her, he said he could wait and Juvia believed him. Juvia knew she could come to like him too but didn't know if she could be in a relationship with the way she was right now, not with her dreams making her remember about her past love. _Just take your time _she repeated in her thoughts. Lyon had said it to her clearly and directly, although she knew he was shy at that time, he still said it.

Gray's face entered her mind. _Gray _the little voice in her mind said. She thought they shared mutual feelings for each other, she suspected it at the times that he'd touched her, stroked her hair back to stare at her eyes, how he looked uncomfortable when another man touched her the way he did, but at the most crucial time he couldn't confirm her thoughts.

That was the past but this memory haunted her to this day, playing in her mind as if it happened just days ago. She never knew why he hesitated, it seemed like his answer was different than what he really wanted to tell her, he never got the chance to explain and Juvia blamed herself for that. Juvia also blamed herself for she was too impatient, too eager to hear it from his lips that she'd driven him into denying whatever feelings she though he had for her.

" _If only I didn't ask, If only I'd waited a little longer."_

Jordan greeted her at the door way. Juvia barely noticed her friend's hair, bouncing as Jordan excitedly waved, with violet highlights, cut shorter into doll-like asymmetrical hairstyle, almost similar to a Japanese anime character. It suited her personality very well.

Juvia found the place unexpectedly neat and everything in place, she wouldn't have been surprised if everything was cluttered like a tornado just passed by, it was Jordan after all. Juvia guessed her friend didn't want to be kicked out any time soon, that meant that she still hadn't made up with Mr. Drummer.

They ate the Chinese food that she'd ordered, all while Jordan chattered about her day. Juvia listened eager to erase her previous thoughts that burned at the back of her mind. Jordan told her about the gay hairstylist that complemented her highlights, the people that stared at her as she flaunted her new hairstyle, appreciating the attention.

Later, they were sprawled on the floor watching a movie Jordan rented. It was a suspense- thriller where blood and body parts flew across the screen and a serial killer stabbed a screaming girl inside the bathroom with a bread knife.

"_Why do they always enter the dark creepy room? You're supposed to run idiots." _ Jordan said to the screen. It was so pathetically horrible that Jordan laughed at every scene, cracking up as soon as the killer appeared with his bloody knife. _"Oh here it comes"_ she said as the man came towards the victim.

"_Uggh!" _They both groaned as fake blood spewed across the screen.

Juvia had to admit the movie was bad enough to be a comedy. They ate ice cream as they watched with Stranger's tail on Jordan's lap and his head on Juvia's, his beady eyes concentrated on the TV. A knock on the door interrupted their movie. Juvia moved to rise and Stranger lifted his head.

"_I'll get it"_ She said. Juvia walked towards the door, wondering who would visit her at this time, pushing her thoughts aside she reached the door and opened it.

Lips descended on her mouth with great force. Her eyes widened with the sudden contact and her body froze. Her mind exploded a million times over or was that from the movie, she couldn't decipher. _What the-? _ She screamed in her head. Alarms blared and volcanoes erupted inside her head as the man leaned in closer. He held her arms firmly and dragged her a step towards him, exposing her to the hallway. The soft pressure on Juvia's lips felt so wrong.

Another scream came from inside as a character died, she also felt a scream rising in her throat. Finally her lips were free. Juvia stared at the man in front of her. She tried to put a name on his face, but she ended up with none. Her breathing was hard and she wanted to slap the man but her arms were frozen in place.

"_Io, come on your missing the almost-good parts, who is that?"_ Jordan called out appearing behind her. _"ZEF?!" _she half-shouted.

The man's brown eyes widened with realization as soon as he drew back. When he saw Jordan, his jaw fell open. His eyes kept on looking back from the woman he just kissed and back to Jordan, panic rose in them. _"Oh shit"._

_Thud._

Their heads whipped to another man standing in the hallway, bags and suitcases dropped to the floor. Juvia's breathe caught in her throat.

"_Gra-" _

Jordan barely finished his name when Gray's fist connected with the man's jaw.

* * *

_"Unbeing dead isn't being alive."_  
- E. E Cummings

Don't forget to review!.. :)


	7. Try

Sorry for the mistakes, staying up till 3 am didn't really help my vision. Thanks for reading. :)

* * *

_-Try_

Silence, there was nothing but silence among them. The air felt thick and suffocating to Juvia. Time seemed to go by slower, second by excruciating second. _Tick. Tick. Tick._ The soft clicks of the clock was the only sound to be heard, it read 9: 45 pm. They'd been sitting in silence for over 15 minutes. Even Stranger seemed to notice the tension, at the back of the room his beady eyes stared at the still humans in front of him.

Jordan held an ice pack against the unexpected visitor's horribly bruised cheek while the man stared at the paintings hanging on Juvia's walls, biting his lip. He was probably waiting for hell to open beneath him and swallow him up. Juvia looked down at her hands, examining them with intense interest, carefully stealing glances at the man in front of her from time to time. Gray slouched against the couch, his arms folded across his chest, irritation plain in his face, sitting across Juvia with his bags beside his feet. The movie was long forgotten, with the psycho serial killer's face paused on the screen, also seeming to stare at them from behind the TV, menacing and mocking.

"_Awkward" _The man Jordan called Zef finally said, shattering the silence with his deep voice, effectively making the situation much queerer. Zef was the drummer in Jordan's band, tall and skinny. His features were very striking and unusual. Everything about him felt dark and full of depth starting with the deepness of his voice that was so odd on a man of his physique. He had bright auburn hair, messy atop his head. Above all, his eyes were the most interesting, Juvia thought they were brown at first but on closer inspection, his eyes were deep black voids. Juvia immediately noticed the constant sadness in them. 20 and a full-time musician, he was the son of a wealthy business-owner, which explained the fact that he owned a 2 story house and a motorcycle and the reason why he was a musician, full-time.

"_Shut up Zef!"_ Jordan scolded. _"It wouldn't be this way if you didn't suddenly show up" _she turned and regarded the rest of the company. _"Holy baby Jesus, okay as he said this is really weird, so before we go on punching anyone, why don't we all make sense of this situation". _Jordan emphasized the word punching, glaring at her brother. Gray didn't seem to notice as he was staring intently at the air above Juvia's head. She turned towards Juvia. _"Okay Io, you start"_

"_Don't look at me. I just opened the door, and Bam! Zef here kisses me"_ Juvia said pointing a little accusingly to the bruised man.

"_What?!" _Jordan exclaimed, looking wildly at Zef _"You. Kissed. Another. Woman?" _Her voice rose with every word. Juvia saw Gray scowl, his hands tightly balled into fists under his arms.

"_Hey, Hey wait, I thought she was you" _Zef said in a panicky voice, backing up and raising both his hands as if to surrender. "_Jordan, honey, sweetie-pie, I-I came here to apologize, I just got excited when I came and I thought she was you, at the door." _Zef swallowed hard. Juvia couldn't help but snicker at the pet names. Shuddering as she imagined being called like that.

"_What we fought over this morning was stupid, I understand that now. I just overreacted a little, please princess you know how I am. I'm sorry I screamed at you. I swear that won't ever EVER happen again, even if you don't change the tissue paper, or even if you burp out loud sometimes, I won't even get mad if you call me Zeffy-boo in public"_ Zef said hurriedly.

Jordan's face was still angry, though it seemed like she was considering the idea. After a few more ticks from the clock, finally her face softened and she smiled sweetly at Zef _"You stupid silly mongrel, I'm sorry too" _Jordan whimpered, tears in her eyes. She reached out and touched his bruised cheek. Juvia placed a hand on her chest, letting out a sigh of relief, it seemed like all was settled between the weirdly affectionate couple.

"_So now that that's settled, let's move on to another issue. YOU STILL KISSED HER, YOU IDIOT!"_ Jordan screamed into Zef's ears putting too much pressure on his poor cheek, she was still definitely mad.

"_Ow, Ow, Jordan that hurts, it's just a misunderstanding" _Zef complained.

Looking over to Juvia, he apologized _"I'm really-really-really terribly sorry Jordan's best friend. I didn't mean to do that. I didn't mean to offend you in any way, and I assure you that I am no pervert although I might have some loose screws in my old noggin'. I'm really sorry, I'm Zeref Harlington by the way"_ He extended his hand to her.

"_Nice to finally meet you Jordan's boyfriend, you can call me Violette, Io or Juvia, your pick."_ Juvia took his hand, purposely leaving out her other nickname. Rae still belonged exclusively to the man across her. Looking at Zef, Juvia pondered. _So this was the reason Jordan cried_. He seemed nice enough, maybe except for the impulsive-kissing part. In gray long sleeves, knee-high shorts and boots, he only slightly looked delinquent.

Swallowing hard again, Zef faced Gray. It was plain in his face that after that punch, he was scared shitless of his girlfriend's brother. But trying to introduce himself anyway took a lot of courage, it was brave of Zef to do so and both Juvia and Jordan were deeply impressed. Jordan placed a reassuring pat on his back.

_Not just a rich brat after all_ Juvia said in her mind.

"_Oh right, bro this is Zef, my boyfriend and this is Juvia, my best friend, but I guess you already knew that" _Jordan introduced, laughing at the last part. Juvia smiled wryly, looking up to see Gray's expression.

Zef hesitantly reached over towards Gray with his hand open, the sadness once again apparent in his noir eyes. _"Nice to meet you, I-I apologize for earlier. I didn't know it was your girlfriend I kissed"._

Atomic bomb here, another nuclear there and flying pigs everywhere, it was just plain chaos in Juvia's head, her eyes bulged at the word. _Holy_ _crap_ her conscience screamed. She looked up wildly and saw Gray's blue eyes with the same reaction. Jordan gasped and covered her mouth tightly with her hand, her eyes travelling between her brother and Juvia and her free hand clamped down on Zef's wrist. Juvia's cheeks began to blush.

Gray's face was still the same yet a second later broke into a hesitant smile, his eyes softening. He reached out and shook hands with Zef. _"Name's Gray. Yeah, I'm sorry too. Don't do that again alright?" _He slowly leaned back again "_She's not my girlfriend" _He muttered.

Before Zef could say anything more Jordan stood, pulling him up with her. Quickly, they retreated outside and into the hallway, closing the door behind them. As if sensing the situation, Stranger stalked away from them and entered Juvia's room, leaving the two alone, only with the serial killer's face to stare at them.

Only then did Gray look at Juvia, his eyes taking in her features. From the punch to the present, he avoided any eye contact Juvia tried to establish. Juvia finally saw his face clearly, trying to point out the changes that had occurred in him. He still had the same blue eyes as she remembered, only now with dark circles around them. _He's tired_ she thought, he must've gone straight here from his flight_. How does he know where I live? _She thought for a moment and finally decided on one person. _Jordan._

Gray's hair grew longer, landing half-way his ears, slightly covering his eyes. He pushed it back like he used to and smiled his pirate grin at her, only now it was sadder than she remembered. Memories played in Juvia's mind, how many times she'd seen that smile without the sadness directed at her, how she'd missed it after all those years. Juvia internally winced as a familiar pain entered her chest.

"_Rae" _He greeted, his voice like music in her ears, God how she missed everything about him. There he was right in front of her, the living personification of the man in her dreams. Their past together felt so near that Juvia's heart ached and throbbed. She studied the plains of his face, knowing how it felt without touching it, smooth and cold, always cold like glass.

"_Hey" _She finally managed, tipping the side of her mouth up. "_We weren't expecting you"._

"_I can see that, good thing I came early" _He joked. Gray brushed his hand over his mouth wiping away his smile. Looking up he stared at Juvia, several conflicting emotions passing through his eyes. Juvia knew he wanted to say something. _Be patient _she said to herself and sat quietly, waiting for him to start.

"_What?"_ Juvia finally said when a full 2 minutes passed with him just staring at her, it was starting to make her uncomfortable. Her heart began to race in her chest, his lingering gaze brought heat to her body.

"_Can we go someplace else? Your friend over there is creeping me out" _Gray said, pointing at the TV screen where the criminal's eyes stared at them, with his unblinking, unflinching endless stare.

"_Yeah you're probably right"_ Juvia agreed with a laugh, getting uncomfortable too. She stood and walked towards the narrow hallway. She heard Gray follow, their footsteps in sync as they entered the kitchen. She turned and saw him looking around the place. _Holy cow, Gray's in my kitchen _Juvia screeched in her head.

Attempting to disperse the silence, she looked back at him. _"So what were you saying?" _Juvia hopped onto the counter and let her legs dangle in front of her. Now her eyes were leveled with his, Gray had grown so much taller. His chest was broader and his body looked much more mature. She looked at Gray expectantly.

He swallowed hard and his eyebrows came together. It must've been serious for him to look so agitated. Gray made his way in front of her and leaned on the counter across from her, his hands shoved into his jean pockets. Juvia knew he only did that when he was nervous or angry.

"_Just wanted to know how you were doing"_ He finally said.

" _Fine, I guess. I like my job and I actually don't stink at it"_

Gray smirked at that then after a moment let out a deep sigh. _"Look Rae, I really don't want to rush our reunion, but we both now that we've got more important things to talk about than work or the weather"_ Juvia found herself still. She could only nod her head and wait for whatever was to come.

"_This is kinda stupid, but I'm just gonna say it" _Gray finally said, shifting his weight and looking her straight in the eyes. He was within reaching distance and Juvia though how this morning she'd never think that they would be in her kitchen, across from each other and talking at least civilly. _"Before I say anything else to you, I just want you to know that you have every right to stop me or disagree with whatever I'm going to say, just promise you'll listen, listen till the end."_

Juvia nodded again and mentally prepared herself. Dread rose in her heart and her palms began to sweat. Her legs were swaying alternately, she did this for them not to cramp. She breathed in carefully measured breaths and looked at him, ready to listen.

" _During the flight, I swore to myself that I would apologize to you before I'd say anything else, apologize for the last-last time I spoke to you"_

He was talking about the last time he'd ever seen Juvia. The day she ran out on him. Blackness and thunder played in her mind. The memory came back to her in a rush leaving her breathless. She couldn't say anything, couldn't move. Her body tensed up and she clenched her fist so hard her nails dug into her flesh, her legs stopped swaying and were stiff. She was scared that if she did anything, all this would shatter and she'd wake up in another cruel dream.

"_So here goes"_ Gray continued, then closed his eyes and bowed his head. Juvia's eyes didn't waver from him, patiently waiting. After a deep breath he looked up.

"_You probably won't realize how much I mean this, but I'm sorry." _His voice dropping to a whisper "_I don't know how many times I'm gonna say those words but just bare with me okay? " _He shut his mouth and shook his head, a muscle jumping in his throat.

"_I'm sorry it ended the way it did, I was a jerk and I was a coward. I'd hurt you and I regret that, so much that I want to punch myself for it. That was not how I wanted you to remember me" _His voice cracked and he bowed his head again, raking his fingers in his hair, breathing deeply, in and out, in and out. He probably couldn't look her in the eyes.

"_You deserved better and I'd given so much less, I'm sorry" _His head still bowed _"I'd never thought there was even the slightest possibility that I would do that to you, I hate myself for doing it anyway. I got caught up in my emotions and I dragged you along, it was irresponsible. My actions were misleading and selfish and I just stood there, didn't even try to stop you as you ran out that door. If I were you I would've done the same thing, I'd leave myself behind." _

Juvia's eyes started to water_._ She wanted to cry and turn away._ No, not yet_, she said to herself. _You promised to listen._

_" Now –now that I'm back, I want to clear things out with you, clean the slate. I know that I can't simply come back and we'd return to how things were before but Rae this is me trying" _He looked up, his blue eyes clear with regret, stepping forward he slowly took one of her clenched hands in his, holding them hard, her fingers uncurled as soon as the contact was made.

" _I NEED to make things right. Violette I've known you all my life, we grew up together. You have no idea how important you are to me, never thinking that one day I'd lose you, lose you just because I was uncertain and stupid. I used you and it cost me years of self-loathing. The past few years haven't been easy, with you at the back of my mind, knowing that I've somehow hurt you. That's why it took me so long to comeback, because I was a coward, trying to work and keep myself busy just to give me a reason from facing you again, don't get me wrong, I'm really happy to see you again" _His mouth turned up into a sad smile and his eyes were still lingering on her face. "_I'm sorry. I know this is pathetic. You know how I am with words"._

"_By some miracle, I got myself a plane ticket and came here before I could back out. I need to try, to have you know that I regret letting you out of that door. I regret that I didn't give you a proper answer, every day of my sorry existence. I'm not forcing you Rae, you can tell me to leave, and I'll do it, I'll leave you alone. I know I broke your heart and it's not easy to get over that. But I also have to try, can't we start this over? Rae, will you give me another chance? Not like we were before, start again as friends, if that's what you want, it's fine with me, just give me a chance Rae." _He pleaded.

She saw the pain in his blue eyes as he talked, it was deep and jagged. His body was also tensed and she knew he was trying hard to keep himself in check. Her hand hurt by how tightly he was holding into it, like a lifeline. Juvia remembered the day he knocked at her doorstep, desperate to see her.

"_Forgive me" _Gray was looking up at her, holding his breath, his face was so uncertain that Juvia truly believed that he was at her mercy. He was near and her knees were touching his waist. With just one word she could send him away, tell him to never bother her again. With just a shake of her head, she could break him, deepen his sorrow and prolong his self-loathing. Revenge filled Juvia's mind. _Why would I Gray, after all you've done?_ Juvia knew the answer even before she could ask him. _Because if you don't you'll never get yourself out of this Juvia_. She quickly banished every thought of holding a grudge, ashamed of herself for even thinking of it. He slowly released her hands and instead laid his on the counter.

She had a hard time breathing too, here he was, back to her once again, asking, pleading for her to forgive him, to give him on more chance. Her fears crashed into her mind, _What If the past repeats itself? What if we come to hurt each other more than before? What if this doesn't work out? _Her inner voice said frantically. Looking into his eyes she knew she wanted to start again, she wanted it as badly as him. They could be friends again, start fresh, If only she would say yes. Her words didn't get past her lips.

The answer to her what ifs, she found in him, He was Gray Raphael Breck. The first man she'd fallen for, the man to teach her how it felt like to love someone even though it was unrequited, it was still love. He was the man that brought her happiness and contentment, and the man to give her first kiss and her first heartbreak. But before all that he was her friend, the boy with the bright light, the boy she shared her childhood with. She wanted that person back, to hell with her ruined heart. She could love again, Juvia knew that. She also knew that this time she had a choice, her heart was her own again, not Gray's. She thought briefly of ash brown hair and silver eyes, a man she could potentially fall in love with. _Yes, I know I can love again._

She reached out and touched his cheek gently. Gray softly moaned as their skin connected and his blue eyes fluttered shut. He swallowed hard and his hands balled into fists beside her. Gray was restraining himself, Juvia thought. Their past also had an effect on him, SHE still had an effect on him and it was massive.

" _Another chance Gray, probably the last one. I'd also like to start over, very much. Above all Gray, you were my friend and I'd like to have that back. I'm sorry too, I pushed you too hard"_ Juvia whispered.

" _No" _Gray said with a shake of his head. He gave her a sad smile, and opened his arms to her. Juvia whimpered as she entered his embrace. Tears began to flow from her eyes. Gray's arms were tight around her waist and his head was buried in her hair. Slowly, he pulled her from the counter and gently brought her down, till her feet touched the floor. She could almost hear his heart race.

"_You don't know how much I was afraid that you wouldn't say that. I swear I won't waste it. Back abroad, I went crazy just thinking about how I would say this to you and what I'd do if- if you refused. I promise we'll be better this time." _Juvia nodded on his chest. "_God, I missed you so much" _He said in her ear a little too fiercely, his voice full of determination and relief. Juvia rested her head on his shoulder. It felt so good, like the weight of the world was carried away from her shoulders. She guessed Gray felt the same. "_By the way, you look amazing_ ".

They were like that for a long time, trembling in each other's arms.

_Click._

The flash startled them both and broke their embrace. Jordan stood before them with Gray's camera in her hands, grinning with an expression that only spelled mischief. There was no sign of Zef. Both of them didn't hear her enter the room, her quietness baffled them both.

"_You two sure get along"_ Jordan said in a sly voice, her finger twirling her newly cut hair. "_Just wanted to say that Zef already went ahead, by the way Io, if you're wondering why he knows about this place it's because I gave him your address, since I was crashing in with you I thought maybe you might as well meet him too" _Jordan finished with a smile. "_Oh, and I also accidentally told Gray that I was staying here, so yeah, my baaaad."_

"_I knew it" _Juvia muttered.

Jordan settled the camera on the glass dining table and skipped her way back to their bedroom, calling for Stranger with a sing-songy voice, violet hair bouncing with each skip.

Juvia felt Gray's arms loosen on her waist. Only then did she realize the closeness of their faces. Embarrassed, she jumped out of his arms, muttering an apology. She stood straighter and wiped her palms on her pants, they felt sweaty. Gray just smiled at that, his face looked better and his manner was more relaxed, he looked more similar to the Gray she remembered.

"_I guess I should go." _He said, turning his head towards the living room. Juvia nodded and followed behind him as he grabbed his camera and walked towards his bags on the living room floor. Jordan called from one of the rooms that she was gonna stay over and keep Juvia company. Gray looked at her with a question in his eyes, one of his eyebrows raised.

"_Oh, it's okay, I don't mind" _Juvia quickly answered. _"Besides we have to finish the movie"_

"_Okay, you two have fun" _Gray chuckled. Stranger appeared and barked up at him.

"_Oh yeah, I almost forgot, this is Stranger" _Juvia said as she bent down to ruffle the dog's head.

"_Cool dog, very big too. You never liked the small ones, did you? _ Gray said as he followed her lead and patted Stranger's head gently. He took out his camera and snapped a few shots of the dog. Stranger wagged his tail and nudged his head to his hand. Stranger liked Gray, or maybe the camera, Juvia wondered. This made her smile as Gray shot more photos.

"_Yeah" _she just said as Gray rose and walked towards the door, his bags hanging from his shoulder and his camera dangled from the straps around his neck. His back was broader than she remembered, her hand reached towards him, and then she realized that she wasn't supposed to. Juvia drew it back quickly, realizing that it was involuntary. She put her hands behind her and clasped them. _What am I doing? _

At the doorway he stopped and turned to face her, a shy grin on his face.

"_You know, don't put your guard down so easily"_ He assessed her with his blue eyes, hair falling over them. He was referring to Juvia being mistakenly kissed. Pushing the black strands back he said _"You don't know how bad that looked from my point of view"._

Juvia smiled, appreciating the concern, not wanting to put a label on his intentions_." I'm glad you came when you did, although the punch wasn't necessary"._

Slowly with his free hand, he reached out and touched the tips of her hair, staring at them as he twirled the lock between his fingers, his lips tipping up into another grin. _"Believe me, it was"_ he whispered.

It was such an intimate act that Juvia couldn't help but hide her blushing cheeks. He left without another word. She watched as he turned and walked, getting farther away till his figure disappeared into the corner, he'd taken the stairs.

Juvia closed the door and leaned back into it. _Start over_ she repeated in her mind. _Gray and I, were gonna start from the beginning, as friends. _With a sigh Juvia went back to the living room, there she found Stranger, half-seated on the couch. She collected him up and rested his body on her lap, then buried her head in his soft fur. _Yes, just as friends_.

"_You wanna continue the movie?"_ She said to the dog with a sigh. Stranger wagged his tail, indicating he did. Jordan appeared from the kitchen, holding a bowl of popcorn and two cups of coffee. Handing one to Juvia, she sat down beside her.

"_This must be the strangest day of your life" _Jordan said as she sprinkled pepper on her food and tossed the popcorn in her mouth.

"_Yeah"_ Juvia said tiredly and pressed play.

* * *

_ "I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.**"**_  
- Pablo Neruda

Not to spoil anything, but I'm open to any suggestions on how I can introduce Natsu's character into the story. His name kinda sounds too foreign for the setting, if you guys know any names that might sound okay then that would be awesome. Or if not, I could just say that he's from a foreign country or something, depending on your responses. Lots of thanks!..

Please review! Till the next chapter..:)


	8. Darkness

This chapter concentrates more on the effects of Gray being back in Juvia's life and how she reacts to it. As usual, I introduced a few more characters in this installment. Sorry again for the mistakes and thanks for reading.

* * *

_-Darkness_

Juvia stood on tiptoes and reached for the book above her. The library was quiet and deserted, with high wooden bookshelves that lined the massive marble walls, steel tables and chairs were arranged in columns and rows. The smell of old pages and wood filled the air, and Juvia was immediately comforted by the scent and its familiarity. In between book shelves were huge black-paned windows that shone the breathtaking twilight. Orange and yellow streaks lined the sky as the sun began to set. Juvia may have stayed out too late. With a last glance to the fading light, she reached up again. _Just one more and I'll head home._

She pulled the old book from the shelf farthest from the window and dropped back to her soles. Darkness erupted. Juvia's head snapped around, slightly disoriented. At one point, she couldn't see anything beyond her hands. After a few seconds, the lights flickered faintly but slowly went out again with a zap. It was probably a black out. She gripped the book to her chest and stood very still, her eyes looking around her, trying to adjust. All of the sudden the room felt very cold, the scents no longer comforting but eerie. All the horror movies she'd watched came to her mind. Juvia let out a little shriek, waiting for a giant spider to eat her or zombies to suck her brains out.

"_Gray?" _She called out nervously to the darkness. No response. She called out again, a little louder this time. _You should've gone home, _she mentally slapped herself.

" _I'm here, just stay where you are, I'll find you"_ she heard Gray's faint voice, although she couldn't perceive where his voice came from, so she just stood still, waiting. Her eyes slowly adjusted to the blackness and she gripped the book tighter.

She could hear footsteps half-running behind her, stopping at every bookshelf, getting closer to where she was. She breathed deeply and waited more. Her imagination was running wild, creating creatures in the shadows in great detail. This was not a good time to have a wide reading background. Her mind had summoned again all the scary characters she had read over the recent years. Soft taps approached her and a warm breath touched her cheek, it nearly startled Juvia and she lost grip of the book, but managed to catch it before it dropped. Juvia heard Gray chuckle lightly. He was there but she couldn't see his face, so she groped blindly in front of her for any sign of him. His hand caught hers and he pulled her towards the window where soft streaks of moonshine lighted the books.

"_You alright?" _Gray asked, searching her face. His hand still held hers. _"It's just a power shortage. They'll run the generators in a while, sorry I startled you"_

"_Yeah, it's okay. I'm glad it was you and not some brain-sucking zombie" _Juvia reassured him. She watched as a strand of hair fell over his face, and with her free hand, pushed it back. The stream of light that hit his features, made his eyes bluer, icier. That and the cold air made her tremble.

"_You're cold. Here"_ He said, pulling her into his embrace, effectively warming her body. With his arms encircling her waist, she laid the book on his chest and her forehead on it. They stood like that for a while, sharing warmth between them. Juvia breathed the familiar scent of him and looked up surprised to find his blue eyes gazing back down at her.

Years ago when they were still kids, Juvia was a little taller than him just by a few centimetres. She'd always tease him about the miniscule but significant difference and he'd just pout and yell at her to wait until they grew up and he'd surely surpass the few centimetres. Then came puberty and unsurprisingly Gray now towered over her, she had to stand on tiptoe just to reach his face. Juvia had to tip her face up to look at him properly.

They simply stared at each other. Blue orbs on green ones.

"_Beautiful" _He whispered slowly, a faint blush surfacing on his pale cheeks. Gray was never one to speak such words.

Caressing her face tenderly with his free hand, Gray's face descended towards hers, gently laying his forehead on Juvia's. Their lips only inches away. His hold tightened around her. Juvia's breathing slowed and her heart raced violently. Her hands felt weak and the book stumbled to the floor, landing with a heavy thud. Her hands came to rest on his chest, not knowing where else to put it, now nothing separated them.

An uncertain expression passed Gray's eyes, it was almost sad. Juvia couldn't help but look down to his lips, and unconsciously she bit her own.

Gray only grunted at that and nudged Juvia's forehead gently, pushing her head back slightly. Only then did he bend down and capture her lips. Juvia's mouth opened under his, recovering from a mild shock. Relaxing a little, Juvia slowly closed her eyes. She had no experience in this field, so she just let Gray's lips guide her through the soft and chaste kiss. Gray moved closer, dissipating the space left between them, fully pressing her into him without breaking their kiss. Parted after a moment, they stared into each other's eyes, breathing slowly, darkness and moonlight surrounded them.

Juvia searched his eyes for any sign of regret, but only saw loneliness that confused her. Finally, as if Gray, unable to bare their brief separation kissed her lips again, only this time it wasn't as innocent as the first one. This one was deeper and harder, tipping her head into the kiss, Juvia was surprised by his need and force. Gray angled his head to the side and kissed her harder still, backing her against the window. His arms tightened their hold on her waist further, lifting her a little off the ground, his lips felt scorching hot against hers. She ran her fingers through his soft hair and wrapped her arms around his neck, biting gently at his lower lip. He moaned her name, muffled by the kiss.

It seemed as though a ravaging fire ignited in Gray's chest as he conquered her lips again and again with each kiss, deeper and longer than the last. He couldn't seem to get enough of her taste. He barely gave Juvia enough time to breathe, leaving her unable to think of anything else other than him. She responded to his kiss with a fire of her own, her lips were starting to hurt but it was a sweet pain. He kissed her so passionately that she had already memorized the feel of his lips on hers, imprinting it in her mind. His hand grazed over her arms, neck and face, heat spreading wherever it went. His hair tickled the sides of her cheeks and she smiled breathlessly against his lips. They broke away for the nth time, breathing hard. Juvia looked into Gray's eyes, burning blue in the moonlight and blazing with desire and conflict, his mouth tight and serious. He lightly touched her lips with his finger, staring intently at the way they were bruised and red from the force of his kisses.

Bright light spilled over them.

Juvia forced her eyes open. Tears immediately flowed from them, hot and rapid, running down her face. She stared at the ceiling, controlling her breathing and bit her lip to push down the scream that threatened to erupt from her mouth.

_Why? Why? I thought they would disappear. _Her thoughts said weakly. She sat up slowly, and tried not to tremble. She didn't want to disturb Jordan beside her. Juvia walked to the bathroom and dipped her face in cold water, not surfacing until her lungs were out of breath and her skin was numb. Gripping the edges of the sink tightly she rose up and saw her face in the mirror. With dark circles around her eyes and skin so pale like ceramic, she looked slightly deranged. Her chest heaved with every breath she took, and her lungs and throat felt strained. More tears stung her eyes and she swallowed hard.

Now that Gray was back, she thought her dreams would disappear, instead they crushed her hopes and came more aggressively, showing her their most intimate moments, the ones she tried the hardest to forget. She laid her forehead on the cold glass and sighed at her foolish thoughts. She could still remember the heat of his lips and the look in his eyes that night she'd given her first kiss to Gray. Her temples began to throb. Once again, she dunked her head in the icy water.

Wiping her face with a towel she moved towards her living room, crashing down on the couch. She reached for the telephone placed on top of the center table. Dialling Lana's number, she waited, a moment later, she heard her assistant's voice asking kindly to leave a message.

"_Hey Lana, I think I'm gonna take the day off. I have a really bad headache coming, please move all my appointments tomorrow, just leave all the papers on my desk. I'll look at them when I come back tomorrow morning, thanks. I'll see you soon" _Juvia said tiredly, putting the phone back to its cradle, Juvia began rubbing her temple in circular motions.

Lying back down on the couch, Juvia glanced at the wall clock. 4:26 am. What was she supposed to do now? After a moment of going over her options, she decided to jog. Without disturbing Jordan, Juvia changed and called Stranger to her, slowly closing the door behind them. Juvia ran till her head cooled down, Stranger at her heels, free without a leash.

Juvia came back to find Jordan still sleeping, limbs sprawled all over the bed, her hair spreading in every direction beneath her, the gray blankets on the floor. Juvia collected the sheets and laid them gently over her friend.

The cold shower helped loosen Juvia's tense body. She stood there for a long time, soaking herself till her skin was sparkly clean and all her joints were loose, till her mind was again too numb to think. She made eggs and bacon for breakfast, finishing her share and leaving some for Jordan, Lana del Rey playing on her radio. After brushing her teeth, she hung out with Stranger. Brushing his fur with a comb, Juvia hummed to herself.

Jordan finally woke up, groggily eating her breakfast, dipping her bacon in peanut butter, which undoubtedly grossed Juvia out. She slowly walked towards the bathroom, her hair a crazy tumble of black and violet, all without saying a word. Juvia just watched, baffled by how spiritless her friend was, maybe that was what happened to Jordan when she overslept, in their years of frienshidp, this was the first time Juvia saw her like that.

Zombie Jordan stepped out of the shower, 15 minutes later, yawning as she did. Jordan was covered in a yellow Angry Birds towel and she brushed her teeth with a Spongebob Squarepants novelty toothbrush. Juvia helped her pack her stuff, neatly folding clothes and stacking them in the pink suitcase, while Jordan just threw in anything she saw was hers. They took 10 minutes trying to lock the suitcase. Juvia sat on it, pressing as hard as she could with Jordan tugged on the lock, trying to put it in place. They struggled till they heard a click, sighed exaggeratedly and collapsed like dung heaps on the floor, _"Victory"_ Jordan said breathlessly, waving her hands in front of her. Finally everything was ready.

Gray came to pick his sister up, showing up at the doorway_." Mornin' " _he said when he saw Juvia, she smiled and nodded. He took a step towards her and slowly leaned in to place his forehead against hers, only to stop short. Realization was clear in his eyes as Gray cleared his throat and backed a few steps away. The dream came back to her and she couldn't help looking at his lips. The feel of them on hers, the closeness of their bodies and the warmth that radiated between them, it overwhelmed Juvia so much it scared her.

It felt so strange to her to hear his voice again, it was as if nothing had happened. They had a habit of greeting each other differently, touching their foreheads together. It felt odd not to greet him like that anymore. Reminding herself of their current status, she swallowed deeply.

Jordan appeared and snorted at her brother, handing him her bags. She had brought many things when she stayed over, but barely used them in her short visit. Gray just chuckled at Jordan and apologized to Juvia, shrugging as he explained that this happened when Jordan woke up too early or too late.

"_Thanks for letting her stay" _he whispered to her, leaning close. Juvia remembered his familiar scent and was suddenly aware of their closeness. Although they both had some kind of restraint towards each other, Gray was more at ease now. Juvia couldn't say the same for herself, stepping quietly away from him. He didn't seem to notice. She inhaled deeply, an old part of her wanted to be as close as possible but Juvia held herself in check.

Jordan dressed in a navy coat and boots, said goodbye. Tightly hugging Juvia , thanking her for letting her stay and ruffling Stranger's head, bending down as she made baby noises at him. Dragging her pink suitcase behind her, zombified Jordan left without waiting for her brother. Juvia wondered if she'd be like that for the rest of the day. Gray simply turned back to her and smiled, stepped out and followed Jordan. Juvia released a heavy sigh as soon as they were out of sight.

"_This will take a lot of work" _she muttered to herself.

Starting over was not going to be easy for them, Juvia thought. Seeing him again left her so disoriented, she assumed that by now she'd get used to seeing his face, after all they appeared in her dreams so frequently but her reaction to the real him was so unravelling that Juvia had to build up a strong restraint just to keep herself in check.

She paced around the room. Juvia didn't love him anymore, or at least that's what she kept telling herself for the past years but her body still remembered his touch and his presence. She hoped that it wouldn't hinder their new relationship, which Juvia only wanted to be friendly at the moment.

_You never know, you might love him again _the walls seemed to speak to her, as Juvia paced she considered the possibility. Her mind denied it so strongly but she didn't know for sure if she could still look at him without some kind of romantic feeling.

"_No, I'm over thinking this. We are starting as friends, just friends, with many paths to take in the future. I tried so hard to forget about the past. But if I-" _She couldn't continue her words. Her heart throbbed as she remembered the pleasant feeling of teenage love. _" Oh hell, what am I doing? I'm talking to myself and stressing over something I am not even sure will happen" _she said frustrated as she threw her hands in defeat.

Juvia was alone again with Stranger as her only companion. The throbbing of her head grew worse. Juvia cleaned her condo to keep busy, rearranging her furniture, then moving them back again, changing her curtains and doing laundry. She organized her closet, stacked her books and dusted the windows. With nothing else to do, Juvia sat on the floor, looking around her spotless living room.

She decided to go to Dr. Allen's tomorrow and try sleeping with Stranger beside her tonight. She had hopes that either method would work. She prayed to God, pleading to make her nightmares go away. These memories did nothing for her save remind her of the pain and guilt that revelled in those moments. It was so hard to move on with them following her to the present, Juvia was trying so hard, trying to get used to them, but every time, the dreams surprised her with a memory and she woke up feeling more and more hopeless. She could feel herself sinking lower into the darkness.

Her past with Gray held many beautiful memories but those were crushed by the moments they had when they've hurt each other, made themselves more miserable and more distant from each other. Juvia was thankful for the time that she'd spent with him, but now she wanted so badly to get on with her life. She didn't mind if Gray was in it but Juvia didn't want to be stuck in the past, living in the moments where she'd both found happiness and sorrow.

Juvia got up and turned the TV on, National Geographic was the channel that filled her screen. Settling on her couch, Juvua concentrated on the documentary about elephant birth, her head still hurt, probably from too much exertion and stress. 20 minutes into the show and she already felt sleepy. Sure elephants were fascinating creatures but Juvia's mind had a hard time processing information, it just wanted to rest.

A knock on the door alerted her attention. Turning the TV off she moved to open the door. A sweet smile spread across Juvia's face as she saw the couple standing at her door. She jumped into Mr. and Mrs. Carter's arms.

"_Mom, Dad" _She sobbed _"Why are you guys here?"_

"_We were just in the neighbourhood and decided to drop by and see our daughter"_ Mrs. Carter said.

Juvia led her parents inside and was thankful she'd cleaned the place. Her father went straight to the paintings on the wall, examining them through his thick-rimmed glasses. Mr. Al Zackary Carter was a tall man, at 51 with gray hairs already showing. He had a stern face with amber brown eyes. A man of few words, Al was a historian so naturally he would be interested in the paintings on Juvia's walls. He wore a black sweater and slacks.

"_Hello Stranger, you've grown since I last saw you" _Her mother bent down towards Stranger and rubbed her hands behind his ears. Looking around, she complemented _"The place looks great Violette, very-very, what was that word dear?_ She turned toward her husband.

"_Victorian"_ Al finished, he adjusted his glasses with a finger.

Bisca Lois Carter was beautiful at her age, with snowy white hair and green eyes like her daughters. Time had aged her well. At 50 Bisca was the head of a research institute based in Northern Fiore, where her parents settled. They were on vacation and decided to go to visit their daughter, to see how she was doing. Her mother was dressed in a navy blazer, a white blouse, slacks and black pumps.

"_I'll go make us some coffee" _Juvia said, a huge smile on her face, she was so happy to see her parents, to see them look well. She quickly returned with their coffees and sat down with her parents on her couch.

"_How's work dear?"_ Her mother asked, lifting her cup to her lips_. "Do you like it there?"_

"_It's great mom, I get to read new material every day. It's not that stressful unless you get to a deadline of course but well it's part of the job. I enjoy it very much" _Juvia told them about her normal routine at work. She told them about the books she was excited about, she even mentioned Lyon's name once and his work. Her parents looked so relaxed, with Al's arm around her mom. Juvia felt guilt and sadness grow in her heart. Her parents didn't know about the dreams she'd been having, Juvia didn't want them to worry so she just moved on to another topic, guilty that she'd keep the dreams from them. The Brecks and Carters were long time friends, her parents knew Gray and Jordan since they were babies and Juvia's mother was very close with Ul.

They'd go shopping together or bake in each other's home. After Macarov's death, her mom talked often with Ul. She was also the one who held the widow's hand during the funeral.

Juvia told them about Jordan's work and her band, telling them she'd just moved out from Juvia's place. She told them about Gray coming back from abroad, how he was working now as a senior photographer of an international magazine. Her parents listened intently, sometimes disturbing her to ask questions. After Juvia ran out from him, her parents couldn't bring themselves to confront Gray whom they've known as a good boy. Juvia loved it how she could just talk to them about anything, but one she wouldn't share and couldn't bring herself to was her nightmares, the only ones who knew where Jordan and Dr. Allen.

" _Have you met a nice young man yet darling?" _Bisca asked raising her eyebrows twice. Juvia nervously laughed. Al also turned his head towards her, curious as to what her answer was.

"_Ughh, I guess so. He's a writer, handsome and nice, but were just friends." _Juvia said quickly, those were the first words that came to her. _For now_ her mind included.

"_Well I hope Mr. Writer can win you over honey" _Bisca said knowingly. _"It's not good for a young woman to live alone for so long, you and Reese better find someone fast, don't you think so dear?"_

"_As long as their happy and he's a decent man" _Al said, looking down at Bisca and back to Juvia.

" _Yes daddy, of course"_ Juvia said softly. Her parents weren't exactly strict towards her having relationships, especially her mom who encouraged a bit of rebelliousness. She said it would be good to be a little liberal on her children, it was her father who set the rules. Al wasn't too permissive as his wife, he had to know who the guy was but didn't require meeting him. He regularly warned his daughters about men who took advantage. Juvia took them all to heart knowing that it was for her own safety, Reese listened and just nodded after. She never really introduced anyone to them yet and she thought that her mother was starting to get worried that she would never be in a real relationship.

There wasn't a lack of suitors for Juvia but she just couldn't bring herself to reciprocate their feelings. That was until Gray, who didn't return hers, at least not verbally. Juvia wondered why she needed his words then. She knew that love could be shown in many different ways but it was still a reassurance to hear them.

The regret and conflict in his eyes were the ones that gave her doubt. She hated seeing those emotions in his eyes whenever he touched her or even looked at her. They made her so confused that she wasn't so sure if Gray really did care for her. His actions were certainly affectionate but his eyes said otherwise. She couldn't take it anymore and that was when she finally asked him and ended up with their messed up situation now_. If only _a sad voice said in her mind.

After lunch her parents finally had to go. Standing at the doorway Juvia smiled up at them, thankful to God for leading them to her. _"We'll see you soon darling, we'll just stop over at Reese's" _Her mother said. Juvia kissed both their cheeks and embraced them for quite a time, wishing they'd visit her again really soon.

* * *

_"Do not go gentle into that good night, old age should burn and rave at close of day. Rage, rage against the dying of the light."_

_-_Dylan Thomas

The original Mr. and Mrs. Carter were Laxus and Mira but then I thought..If Gray's father is Macarov, and Juvia's father is Laxus, and as we all know, Laxus is Macarov's grandson, so that makes Gray way older than Juvia and we can't have that happening. I know that the characters are not entirely based on the anime but still..its quite weird..XD

Till the next chapter!


	9. Lost

As always, thanks for reading this far and I apologize for the delay and the mistakes. This is the longest chapter and I hope that it's worth the wait for you guys. Thanks again and enjoy.

* * *

_-Lost_

Juvia pulled the covers over her and Stranger, sleepily reaching over to brush his mane.

"_Goodnight Stranger"_ Juvia yawned and closed her eyes. She didn't sleep immediately due to the dog's constant shuffling and whining. Finally, she offered her hand for Stranger to nuzzle and the dog calmed after pushing his nose and head against her palm.

Hours later she sat up suddenly, breathing deeply, choking out sobs of sorrow and wiping the tears on her face. She quickly groped beside her expecting to feel Strange'rs fur, only to hear his bark from the living room. Sighing she crashed back to bed. She'd slept soundly for only a few hours, Stranger must've woken up and left her in the room. The memory left her again, at first it was only glimpses but then it became so vivid Juvia thought it wasn't just a dream.

It happened in Halloween. People filled the department stores as they bought costumes or materials, carrying their kids around trying out some characters. Princesses, witches and Frankenstein were among the popular choices. Horror movies were all there was to see in the cinemas and jack o' lanterns decorated yards. Ghost stories filled everyone's conversation. Juvia and Gray were walking towards the school. The sidewalk had patches of light from the streetlights above and the crisp night air breezed by them. Shadows of everything spilled the pavements and the moon shined bright above them. Stars scattered the black sky.

Gray had wolf ears on his head and a spiked collar around his neck, growling as children passed by them. His jeans were torn as was his shirt opting to wear a plaid blazer over it. Gray had his arm casually around Juvia's shoulder. She was in a white flowing dress, splashed with fake blood and torn at the bottom. She held a torn Hello Kitty also splashed with blood, it's mouth slashed into a bloody grimace. They made it hours ago in the Breck's backyard, laughing as they tore each other's costumes. Juvia thought that they were too old to dress up for Halloween but she just went with it and came along.

They walked the lit sidewalk of the campus. There was a Halloween party at the gym and they decided to go together, throbbing techno music could already be heard from where they stood. Juvia was never the type to go on parties but Gray said that it would be fun. Juvia had a hard time convincing her mother. Bisca said that teenage parties were dangerous and there would be many delinquents. Gray assured her mother that he was gonna bring her home, safe and sound. With him humming and Juvia's arm around his waist, they walked taking their time.

"_That dress really suits you"_ Gray said looking down at her, mischief plain in his eyes. "_The blood stains really bring out your eyes"._

"_Your ears look good too"_ She teased back. Reaching up, she tugged at them. _" Werewolf Gray huh"_

"_And what are you supposed to be? "_ Gray asked, amusement playing in his voice. Their pace slowed still further. They were now just a few blocks from the school, where every teenager was dressed up, dancing to the music. Trash would decorate the ground and everyone would have little red cups in their hands, filled with God knows what.

Girls would probably go as zombie cheerleaders or sexy bunnies, and their dates would be mummies, vampires or dead jocks. Gray thought that they were ridiculous cliché's. He was popular but he wasn't one of them. He didn't really like costumes but since Juvia said that she'd never attended a high school party, he chose to take her to one. It was just coincidental that it was on Halloween.

"_I was a fairy, that was eaten by a big bad wolf"_ She answered grinning up at him, giddy and excited about attending her first party with one of the most handsome boys in Magnolia High. Other girls gave her odd looks while she was with him, but Gray told her to ignore them, and so she did, but Juvia still felt a little conscious.

Gray smiled at her reply and said nothing. They'd stopped walking, their faces lit under the streetlight above them. He gently removed the stuffed toy from her hand and bent down to put it on the sidewalk. Juvia's eyes just followed him and her eyebrow raised, wondering what he was up to now. Gray straightened and his face turned serious and his eyes burned into hers. His voice dropped to a low whisper _"You know how I told your mother that I would keep you safe?"_

"_Yeah, why?" _Juvia answered softly. She didn't understand what he was saying. He stayed quiet and still for a moment.

"_Whose gonna protect you from me" _He whispered and turned fully towards her so that Juvia could be in his embrace, his arms locking around her_. "as you said, I could eat you all up"._ Trapped to him, Juvia could only look up at his face, her hands resting on his chest.

He was a hungry wolf, and she was his prey, they were even in costumes. Juvia could see herself reflected in his blue eyes. She looked small and fragile, like she was where she was supposed to be, in his arms, safe and sound. _Prey_ the word repeated in her mind. Juvia felt so nervous, her hands began to tremble and a small whimper came out of her mouth.

Gray kissed her hard, his mouth crushing hers with so much force that Juvia though she was gonna fall. His hand cupped her cheek and stroked her hair back. His lips moved over hers, coaxing her to return his kiss. Juvia closed her eyes, heady over the hot pressure, her own lips responded and their mouths melted into a sweet rhythm. She surrendered to her predator.

Juvia pushed up to stand on tiptoe, bringing herself closer, clutching his shirt in her hands. Gray bent down further, opposite to Juvia's ascend bringing her back down on her soles and gently stroked her cheek. After a quick breath, Juvia cupped his face and brought her lips up to meet his.

That was when Juvia woke up.

She was so tired, Juvia barely noticed that she was already dressed for work. The streets were noisy and the traffic was terrible, good thing Juvia only had to walk, but all the commotion of daily life made her headache worse. Finally in her cosy office, Juvia prepared herself to work, pushing the memory to the farthest recesses of her mind. Lana entered and dropped several papers on her table and asked if she was feeling better, Juvia just smiled sadly and shook her head. Lana returned later setting a cup of coffee beside the stack of papers with a sticky note attached.

"_Hope you feel better"_ it read. Thankful to Lana, she sipped the beverage and started to examine the papers.

The weather was sunny again and Juvia worked quietly, absorbing the quietness and letting it calm her down. There were no screaming, hysteric writers and for that she was thankful. Lana checked up on her several times and Juvia thanked her for being so thoughtful. It was as if the universe was telling her that everything was going to be okay.

After work, Juvia texted Dr. Allen that she'd like to have another session with him, walking down as she did, her heels tapping noisily on the pavement, moving towards the parking lot. His office was too far to walk. Juvia had her car ready in the parking lot in case she needed to go someplace else before going home. Her parents gave it to her on her 20th birthday. She'd just gotten her license when she received it. It wasn't anything fancy, but Juvia liked it, it wasn't too big and wasn't too small, comfortable with a lot of space and easy to drive. Juvia got so used to her car that she doubted she'd have an easy time driving anyone else's.

She was half-way to the vehicle, almost just three cars away when someone called her name, a deep voice that rang through the deserted parking lot, her name echoed several times. Turning around, Juvia saw Lyon jogging towards her. He was wearing a dark blue polo with a matching tie, black slacks and shoes, stopping in front of her to hunch over and drop his hands on his knees, breathing deeply. She wondered if he liked dark clothing. Every time she saw him, he always wore them, pulling the look off effortlessly, never looking to pale or too gloomy. Juvia thought it suited him well, like a brooding and dark handsome prince.

"_You. Walk very. Fast" _He said in between breaths. She was probably too consumed in her thoughts that Juvia didn't hear him. It was a bad habit of hers, shutting out the rest of the world and be consumed by her worries and ideas. Gray never liked it, he said it was gonna hurt her someday. Juvia silently agreed to that thought. She probably would have to avoid drowning in her endless thinking and start being more cautious and attentive. Straightening to his full height, Lyon looked down at her, a lazy smile on his face, that reminded her so much of someone. Juvia's heart involuntary skipped and her body froze. Gray's face burned in her mind with the same boyish grin that she'd seen countless times in her dreams and her past.

That's all it took and exhaustion crashed into Juvia. The sorrow from last night came back to her, the memory invaded her mind and she remembered her reflection in his eyes, weak and fragile, just another prey. She remembered how easily she'd surrendered into his arms, a girl in love was so defenceless as too protect herself from the man she longed for. She remembered his touch, his scent and his taste all at once. They were all that she knew and wanted in the past. Juvia remembered his words. _Whose gonna protect you from me? _Her eyes began to sting and her mouth was hot, Juvia only now realized how true his words were, after 6 years she was still helpless. A tear escaped her eye, flowing slowly down her face.

Lyon's brows pulled together and his eyes registered surprise and confusion. Slightly panicked by her reaction at seeing him, he stepped back and raked his hands to his hair, confused at how to act. Juvia knew her appearance disoriented him. Her heart felt like a ton and her knees wanted to give in under her. Juvia tried to cover her face with her hands, but they were limp at her sides, hot tears streamed down her face and Juvia bit her lower lip to stop herself from sobbing. She wanted Lyon to go away yet craved for his comfort at the same time, most of all she didn't want him to see her like this. He hesitantly stepped closer and held her face in both his hands, bending down to look at her in the eye, still unsure of what to do.

"_Hey, Hey, Juvia what's wrong?"_ He said in a worried tone, stroking his thumb to her eyes that were shut tight. It was so gentle that a whimper escaped her mouth. Slowly she looked at his eyes filled with concern. The expression was a complete contrast to Gray's in the dream, his were filled with desire and regret. Lyon's jaw clenched and he stepped closer to her. He brushed the hair away from her face and stroked it behind her.

Juvia couldn't find an answer to his question, she bit down on her lip once more, harder this time and she tasted blood in her mouth. Another treacherous tear dropped down her face, followed by another. _Stop, please _she scolded herself. Juvia felt exposed and trapped to where she stood, her body felt heavy and her head throbbed with pain. She tried again to lift her hands, but they were still cemented to her sides. Everything felt hot and painful, except for the gentle brushes of Lyon's hands.

"_Was it something I said?" _He noticed the blood on her lips and his brows pulled even closer. Breathing deeply, Lyon brushed the red stain from her mouth with his finger. _" Juvia tell me what's wrong, are you hurt anywhere?" _His eyes looked her over, inspecting for any injuries that might've caused her tears.

Finding little strength from him, Juvia opened her eyes and looked up through the tears. Lyon's face was close to hers and his expression showed nothing but concern. Juvia shook her head, answering both his questions. A little alarmed that he would think he was the reason for her sudden tears. More came and Juvia looked down again and watched as the tears dropped down to the floor. Her trembling hands slowly gripped his shirt, balling the fabric in her fingers, pushing him away from her with little force. Lyon didn't budge. Slowly, he followed her eyes to where her hands were and swallowed deeply. He looked at her hesitantly, assessing if she wanted him to leave or stay. His silver eyes like molten steel, trying to decide what was best for her.

He backed away a little and Juvia thought he was going to leave but instead Lyon sighed and moved her into his embrace, guiding her body with his arms and placing her head on the curve of his shoulder. He rubbed her back in circular motions and smoothed her hair down with his hands.

His lips were softly pressed against the skin of the base of her neck. Juvia couldn't hold back anymore and her tears changed into sobs full of pain. Her shoulders trembled with the force of her tears. She gripped his shirt tighter and buried her face into his neck, her lips slightly touching his skin. Juvia's cries were muffled and Lyon held her with utmost care. Gray's embrace and his were completely different.

Lyon just stood still and let her cry on his shoulder, continuously rubbing her back and repeated soothing words to her. She knew that he was tired from the day's work and yet he still chose to stay with her. Juvia's tears seemed endless, her eyes were probably red as was her nose. She was thankful Lyon couldn't see her. They stood there for a while, with Juvia trembling in his embrace.

Finally her tears subsided, still Lyon held her tight, making sure she was okay. Juvia let herself rest on him. She closed her eyes, breathed slowly and calmed herself. Her heart began beating in a normal rhythm but her throat burned from choked up sobs. He did smell like summer, warm and light, her mouth tipped up into an awkward smile. Her hands loosened on his shirt, no longer gripping them, but lightly pressed onto his chest. Juvia felt a multitude of comfort in his arms.

"_Juvia, there's a kid staring at us" _Lyon whispered in her ear with a smile then kissed her temple tenderly. He stroked her hair and loosened his grip so Juvia could turn and look.

There was indeed a little boy looking up at them with big brown eyes. His face was round and chubby. The boy's nose was red and his mouth was slightly open. He was so small that he had to crane his neck to look at their faces. He was wearing overalls and a small baseball cap. The red tinge in his eyes showed that he'd been crying. He was gripping a robot in his tiny hands. Juvia stepped out of Lyon's arms as he bent over the little boy.

"_Hey there buddy, what's your name?"_ Lyon said, stroking the boy's head.

"_Macon. Stranger Danger_" The little boy said a little panicky, biting into his finger, then snorted as mucus nearly left his nostril.

"_Hi Macon, don't worry, were not gonna hurt you okay. You're name's awesome. Like bacon. Do you like bacon, Macon? "_ That made the boy laugh and nod vigorously, smiling at Lyon with a toothless grin. Juvia handed him a handkerchief she found in her purse and Lyon held it as the boy blew his nose into it. _"My name's Lyon but you can call me Wes, and this lady here is Violette"_

" _Wesh? Violeh?" _Macon looked at Juvia as Lyon said her name. His eyes were so big and clear that Juvia could see her reflection. His face was so innocent and angelic that it would inspire affection from anyone he looked at. Juvia bent down beside Lyon, tucking her hair behind an ear and smiled at the boy. "_Hi Macon, are you lost?"_

Macon nodded slowly and tears began to swell in his big eyes. His lips pouted and his little body trembled.

"_Okay then, let's look for your parents"_ Lyon carried the boy in one swift movement, tucking his arm underneath Macon's knees. The boy put his little arms around Lyon's neck, the robot dangling onto his shoulder. _"Don't worry, were good people. It'll be alright" _He said in a fatherly voice that slightly surprised Juvia. She never knew he could speak so affectionately, yet again he was Lyon and Juvia knew how caring he could be. Juvia couldn't help but call him a hero in her mind. _After all he saved two people today._

With his free hand, Lyon held Juvia's and walked back up the building, surprising her still further. Juvia simply looked at their hands, not knowing if she should return his grip or break the contact. His palm was warm and solid against hers, it was a nice feeling. Her fingers slowly moved to clasp his skin, and her hand fit snugly into his. They walked several blocks away from the building, circling in and returning back to the parking lot. Lyon didn't seem to tire as he held the boy up. Juvia was concerned that maybe he was at the verge of exhaustion. She looked up at him beside her and assessed if he was still fine. Lyon simply met her gaze and smiled, reading the question in her eyes.

_Don't look so worried _he mouthed the words to her, giving her hand a little press to reassure her even more. Juvia nodded, hoping she didn't tire him out when she'd cried in his arms. Her grip on his hand tightened further.

They passed by a lot of people as they looked for Macon's parents, Juvia pointed at several of them, looking at Macon for confirmation, the little boy shook his head every time, his brown eyes rimmed by tears. As they neared their starting point, a woman Juvia recognized as someone from the company, smiled at them with a weird glint in her eyes. She looked at Juvia and winked. Another passed by, curiously staring at them. Juvia wondered what they were looking at. As she pondered, Lyon bent down towards her as if to say something and she rose to meet him.

"_We look like a family" _He said with a crooked grin, and changed his grip on her hands, interlocking their fingers. Juvia's eyebrows went up, _so that's why they were looking at us _it seemed that he also noticed the stares. She had to admit that Lyon was right. They did look like a couple, taking a walk with their son holding hands and enjoying the afternoon. She felt her cheeks redden. Her heart fluttered at the thought that Lyon appeared to be her husband. Her eyes went to their hands. In all her life, she's only held two men like this, her father and Gray. Lyon's hand was warm and comfortable around hers, their fingers perfectly filling the spaces in each other's hand. Looking up, she saw Lyon whispering something to Macon, making the little boy chuckle.

It was a new concept to Juvia, having a family of her own. She'd never thought that far into her future. Her dreams were to graduate and be successful, but with Lyon holding her hand, her mind opened to the new possibility. Finding the right man to settle down with, own a house, make plans for their future together and also for their children. Juvia began to fantasize , _After the nightmares _the voice in her mind said. Juvia saddened at that thought, to think that the only thing holding her back from a chance at a happy family and the man to love her were these dreams that refused to leave. That made Juvia swallow hard, now more determined to rid herself of them.

She didn't realize, she was already gripping Lyon's hand too tightly, but he didn't seem to mind, with his eyes searching in front of them for any sign of Macon's parents. The little boy also moved his head around, his eyes alert for any sign. Juvia got her phone out and saw the time, she was already late for her appointment, with a sigh she texted Dr. Allen, typing an apology and that she couldn't come, and asked if she could reschedule.

"_Macon!" _the hysterical voice came from behind as soon as Juvia hit the send button. Startling her that she almost dropped her phone, quickly recovering from it, she straightened.

Juvia and Lyon looked behind them to the short woman running up the driveway, her arms held out and tears on her face. She had the same brown eyes, big and rimmed with tears. She was plump and fair, with curly hair that bounced as she ran to them, an Iron Man back pack on her shoulder that was probably her son's. Macon wriggled in Lyon's arms, eager to go to his mother, his robot dropped from his hand and Juvia bent down to retrieve it. Lyon didn't let go of her hand as she did. He set the boy down and Macon ran on his chubby legs toward the woman, screaming _"Momma"_ in his tiny little voice.

"_Oh Macon" _The woman said as she carried his son, burying her head into the boy's neck. She swayed him around and Macon laughed, filling the air with a high-pitched laughter. The woman wiped her eyes and set the boy down, she walked the rest of the way to them and Juvia handed her the toy and the woman nodded to her. Both of them received a hug from Macon's mom.

After the woman thanked them and Macon smiled his toothless grin at Lyon and Juvia, the pair turned back towards the parking lot. Their hands still entwined. Juvia's heart was light at what she'd just watched, an emotional reunion of mother and son only after a brief separation. Juvia remembered her own reunion with Gray. She wasn't sure if it was as happy as Macon's although their separation was much longer. They descended into the poorly lit parking lot. Pipes ran across the cemented ceiling and it smelled musty. An exit sign flashed at a distance in green neon colors. Their footsteps were in sync and were the only noise. Juvia could see her car as they approached the column of cars, varying from size to color to brand. Lyon abruptly stopped, bringing her out of her thoughts. He used her hand to make her face him, slowly releasing it he slowly put his hands on her shoulders, moving closer.

"_Now tell me why you were so upset" _Lyon gently ordered with the worried look back in his grey eyes. He was meaning to ask her this after she'd calmed down, Juvia though he would be too distracted by Macon that he would forget, she thought wrong. Lyon was deeply concerned by her outburst, and she knew that he deserved a proper explanation after letting her cry on his shoulder. But she couldn't bring herself to form the words in her head. She was slightly surprised by the intensity of his eyes as he waited for her to answer. _Off course he'd want to know, but what do I tell him? _Juvia thought to herself, racking her brain for anything to say, she didn't want to lie.

She was unprepared and said the very first thing that came to her mind _"I was just really tired and worn out"_ she managed. _That's not exactly a lie, _she continued in her mind but it wasn't an acceptable reason either. She hoped Lyon would buy it, apologizing to him in her mind repeatedly for trying to trick him, guilt made her heart heavy. This was not how she wanted to repay his kindness. Juvia was not prepared to reveal to anyone her dreams especially to Lyon. If he would avoid her for it, Juvia would know that she deserved it.

Lyon just raised his eyebrow, considering what she said for a moment, suspicion and confusion flashed in his eyes. _He doesn't believe me_ she panicked in her mind but was somehow relieved that he didn't. His grip was still gentle but they dug into her shoulders deeper. She swallowed the lump that was rising from her throat. Juvia said only half of what was really going on. She wanted to reveal everything, spill out all her that she was keeping inside. But stopped herself, flexing her hands nervously, afraid that he wouldn't understand.

"_Lyon really, I just felt really tired. I'm sorry you thought that it was you"_ Juvia said more sternly, hating the lie in her voice. She wanted him to let it go. She promised to herself that one of these days, she'd give him a proper explanation to her behaviour. _He deserves more than this._

"_I don't believe you"_ Lyon whispered after a moment, his eyes like storm clouds that burned into hers , assessing if she going to say something else. His handsome face was strained in concentration, as if he was trying to solve a hard trigonometry exam. He towered over her and had to bend down to meet her face-to-face. Lyon had become more gorgeous than the last time Juvia saw him, up close she could see him properly. He had strong features, a straight nose and high cheekbones. His mouth was pressed into a thin line, but Juvia remembered how they'd turn up into a smile, almost like a pirate's grin. Like Gray's pirate grin. He exuded warmth with his eyes although the color of his pupils were cold. He had light circles under them, a sign of tiredness.

Lyon still considered her for a moment, and then sighed _" okay, I won't force you to tell if you don't want to, but don't scare me like that again okay? It's not good for the heart"._ Relief flooded her and Juvia smiled up at him and nodded. She would be more careful in the future. His smile returned and his eyes were softer. _"Would you like to get some fattening, sugar-rich frozen dairy?"_

Juvia laughed softly and nodded. "_Yes I would like some ice cream, and thanks for-for letting me cry on your shoulder"_

" _No biggie" _Lyon shrugged. He tugged her hand as they headed for another direction. She realized that they were heading for his car. Her head felt lighter and her chest more relaxed. She trailed her eyes along the cars that they passed by, wondering which was his. Lyon stopped and pointed in the direction of his ride.

Her jaw dropped when she saw the car they stopped in front of. She looked at Lyon then looked back at it. She blinked several times to see if she was looking at the right vehicle. Sitting there, all shiny and black in all its Ferrari glory, was Lyon's ride. It was so extravagant and expensive-looking that Juvia wildly stared back at Lyon.

"_Or we could take your car instead" _He said laughing at her reaction.

"_Yeah, I think we should, no way I'm riding in that thing, not a mile from here and we'd be shot at by ninjas, spies and car-thieves, all because we went out for dairy" _Juvia said. The car looked like it belonged inside a movie, driven by a secret agent, with several goons shooting from behind or in a race track, as it speeds down at an insane speed rate. It was so ridiculously shiny that Juvia could perfectly see her reflection. Among the other cars in the parking lot, it looked so out of place.

"_It's bulletproof" _Lyon whispered.

"_Why? Why would you-" _ Juvia exasperated "_It's a freaking Ferrari, it's shiny, it's DEFINITELY expensive and it's also BULLETPROOF?!" _Juvia pointed at the car to exaggerate her point.

Lyon's laughter rang through the parking lot, tipping his head back as he did. Juvia had never heard such a wonderful sound. She smiled hesitantly and pulled his hand towards the ridiculously shiny car.

"_I'm driving"_ Juvia finished.

* * *

"_I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her. Love is so short, forgetting is so long." _  
- Pablo Neruda

Thanks to my loyal readers who stuck with this story. I hope to bring you guys more as it progresses. Please review! I want to improve the story and my writing as well and your comments are really helping.

Till the next chapter.


	10. Rift

Thanks for the support and for reading. Things will pick up faster after this chapter so I hope you guys enjoy this.

* * *

_-Rift_

People stared and gawked at the shiny, sleek car outside the ice cream shop. It felt even more out of place here than in the parking lot that it drew all the attention. Everything else in sight looked plain or uninteresting. Minutes ago Juvia and Lyon got out of that car, went into the ice cream shop and ordered their dairy. They were slightly disoriented with Juvia's unique style of driving, managing to swerve in a perfectly straight road, barely surviving the experience. Lyon simply could not contain his laughter when they parked.

"_What flavor for you, missy?"_ the man behind the counter said with a heavy Southern accent. He had a shaved head and the thorny crown of Jesus was tattooed onto his exposed arm. Juvia found it strange why a tough looking guy was working in an ice cream shop. Lyon had said that this was the best ice cream shop he knew, Juvia had heard of the place. She hadn't had the dessert in a long time and she missed it. She looked at the assortment of flavors before her. There was mint, pistachio, chocolate, strawberry, rocky road, vanilla, and any other flavor Juvia could imagine. Her mouth began to water and she licked her lips. She had a hard time deciding and took longer than she'd have wanted. Lyon just silently stood beside her.

"_I'll have the cookies and cream" _she said looking up at the man, smiling apologetically for taking so long. The server nodded and turned to her companion. "_And for the gentleman?"_

"_Same as the lady, thanks" _Lyon said without even glancing at the flavors. He had his hands in his pockets and his tie hung loose around his neck. Under the light of the shop his face was illuminated beautifully, emphasizing the richness of his hair and the striking shade of his eyes. He looked tall and elegant even in an ice cream shop. Juvia wondered if she'd ever see him less attractive.

"_Comin' right up"_ The man said, distracting Juvia from her observation. He served their ice creams in cones with sprinkles and fresh strawberries on top. Lyon paid even before she got her wallet out, winking down at her.

They sat across each other with him leaning onto the table beside the display window so that they could observe and keep an eye on the ridiculously luxurious car. There were a bunch of teenagers seated two tables from them, devouring ice cream cone after ice cream cone. They were talking very loud and it annoyed several other costumers. It didn't help that they always started their conversations with _"Like he said-"_or "_ohmygosh really?!"._ Juvia started to taste her cone. It was so delicious that she didn't wonder why the kids devoured theirs. Lyon also started on his, looking at her, amusement in his eyes. Looking out the window, she stared at the car.

"_How'd you end up with that?" _She asked curiously, nodding her head towards his ride. He had mentioned before that his family was rich, but Juvia thought he was a rebel so why did he have such an expensive car?

"_Well, my father wanted me to have it, I refused at first. The car was sick but I didn't want him to waste money on me like that, you know with the recession going on and stuff like that. My dad was really clever, so he sort of showed it off to many people during a Christmas party, saying that it was a gift for me. I didn't want to decline in front of so many guests. I had no choice but to accept. I'm stuck with it ever since." _Lyon shrugged and ate more of his ice cream. His hair looked a little disheveled like he'd just woken up, but Juvia liked it that way, it made him look a little boyish and careless. The worry in his eyes was gone replaced by calm and confidence. _" Might as well use it. I won't lie it's a pretty car but I don't like the extra attention"_ He finished.

"_It's just that, I find it strange that you're a dude and men are like built to worship 'pretty' cars. It's sort of a given in your gender, must be the testosterone or something. " _Juvia shrugged.

"_Sure I appreciate it but I guess it's not that big of a deal to me. Weird as it sounds, I think I would rather prefer cool guitars and records than outrageously expensive cars."_

The chimes rang as another costumer entered. She glanced at Lyon again, curious as to what he was thinking. He sort of looked like a model posing for a famous magazine, even with an ice cream in his hand. He looked divine. _Your being really creepy again, Juvia Carter. Stop fan-girling and eat your damn scrumptious ice cream. _Juvia cleared her throat and shifted her eyes away nervously. She didn't want her weirdness to ruin the perfectly good moment. A question came to her mind.

"_Why do you always order the same thing I do?" _she observed. Even when he took her to lunch that one time, he ordered the same thing she was having. Juvia didn't think it was simply coincidence.

Lyon shrugged and tasted his ice cream again. _" I guess I just want to try what you like" _he said softly, looking back at her. A pleasant feeling arose in Juvia's heart. She surprisingly found it sweet of him, even his eyes were sincere. Bringing his cone down Juvia saw his face.

"_Ughh, Lyon you got a little something on your face" _Juvia said with a laugh. There was a smudge of cream near his mouth. He looked so clueless that Juvia laughed a little harder. She pointed at it as he tried to wipe it away, always missing where she was pointing at.

"_Wait, Lyon stop you're spreading it" _Juvia said, she couldn't wipe the smile off her lips. He looked so innocent with his ice cream in one hand and his eyebrows pulled together in concentration as he tried to wipe the cream off. Laughing still, Juvia reached for the tissue and wiped the remaining cream of his skin, all this while he intently stared at her. His magnificent eyes never leaving her face.

"_What?" _she said after he remained silent. _This has to be the cheesiest situation ever. You know he missed so that you could do this. _Somehow, she didn't seem to mind. They were the only costumers left and the sun began to set, turning the sky into a canvass of yellow and orange. Her ice cream was already finished while he still held his.

"_Nothing" _Lyon just said and finished his cone. They sat there for a few more minutes, looking at the sunset without saying a word. She felt comfortable with the silence. It wasn't awkward instead it was pleasant, with him she felt like she didn't need any words to fill the quiet. Looking at him, Lyon seemed relaxed too. His tie was loosened and his smile was content. His hair had streaks of light-burgundy where the light hit him and Juvia couldn't help but smile. He met her stare and his grin widened.

Standing up from his chair, he offered her a hand. Juvia took it and they walked out of the store with their fingers interlocked. Lyon drove her home, again silence filled the car as they passed by shining billboards and neon signs. She rested the side of her forehead to the window and closed her eyes.

After that dream and crying in his arms, Lyon cheered her up. He took time to make sure she was okay. He made her forget about all her nightmares and worries with just a look that said everything was going to be fine. He was kind and gentle. Juvia asked herself if he was like this to everybody. He probably was but she just thought it was unfair of her to put herself in such high regard in his eyes, but then again he had said that he was chasing after her, maybe this was his way of showing affection. Juvia hated being clueless, she didn't want to resort to making assumptions. She appreciated his actions and hoped that she was ready enough to develop feelings for him.

Their time had been so casual, it almost felt like a date. She didn't mind if it was. Juvia considered it a step forward, a progress. Lyon was also more than a friend to her. She realized that by looking at him today and thinking about things she'd never consider before. Juvia wanted to take it slow, take her time and see if her feelings develop over time. She saw potential in him, that he could be good to her. One question burned in her mind. Was she good enough for him?

Juvia knew she was damaged goods. With a messed up past and nightmares, also with her unstable emotional condition, she found it hard to believe that there was ever a man who'd want to be with her, much less someone like Lyon. He was every girl's dream, handsome, independent and affectionate, he could have his pick of women, but he chose her. She wondered what he saw in her.

After Gray, Juvia had strayed away from love. Fearing that if she entered into another relationship, it would turn out worse, Juvia and Gray weren't even officially together and their relationship turned out to be a mess, how much more if it was a real commitment? She somehow found solace being alone but she knew that she yearned for more than solitude. She was human after all, and she needed love.

She felt a hand caress her cheek and Juvia opened her eyes, leaning towards the touch. Lyon simply smiled at her. She turned her head around and realized that they were already in front of The Glasshouse, it's grand mirrors reflecting the darkening sky. She was so deep in thought she didn't feel the car stop_." I gotta stop doing that_ " she muttered to herself. She had once again let her mind dampen her senses. She turned towards Lyon and saw him remove the tie that was hung loosely around his neck.

His polo was slightly crumpled, Juvia thought that was probably from when she clutched it. His hair was still disheveled and Lyon ran a hand through it, exposing his face completely. He looked a little paler and his eyes were tired. One of his hands gripped the stirring wheel loosely. She noticed a silver chain on his wrist that glinted in the light.

"_Thanks Lyon, for everything. I had fun" _Juvia whispered as she straightened in her seat, still looking at him.

He met her eyes and grinned, his smile lazy and lopsided. His shoulders were a little slumped from exhaustion that Juvia thought was partially her fault and his chest rose as he breathed deeply. _"Anything for you" _he whispered back. She felt pain in her chest as she imagined how tired he must be.

Snow Patrol softly played on the radio. Lyon slightly shifted in his seat so that he could face her. He let his eyes trail on the building before settling on her face, the smile back in his mouth. Juvia could only think of one thing to thank him properly. She rose slightly from her seat to lean towards him and laid her hand gently against his cheek. She looked at his silver eyes, wide with surprise at the closeness of their faces, and smiled.

His mouth was slightly open as if anticipating for something to happen. His skin felt cold under her fingers, but warmed gradually at her touch. He swallowed deeply and Juvia could feel him holding his breath. _So much for taking it slow_ a voice said in her mind. _He deserves it _she countered her own thoughts.

Turning her head sideways, she kissed his cheek. He sucked in his breathe and Juvia could hear his heart race, hers wasn't any better. She could feel his soft hair touching her forehead and his smell surrounded her. It made her light and heady, almost intoxicated. "_Goodnight Lyon" _she whispered to him and pulled back. She looked up at him shyly, a bit ashamed, she'd never done that before. Even with Gray she never had to initiate contact, it was always him who touched her first.

Lyon still had his mouth open but his eyes were bright and alert. His grip on the steering wheel was tighter and his posture was straighter. She smiled at him sweetly, happy that her little kiss gave him energy. Opening the door, she stepped out of the car.

She turned back and waved at him through the open window. He still sat frozen, but after a second later his mouth tipped up into a satisfied grin and waved back. She watched as the black Ferrari drove away. Juvia didn't feel like taking the stairs today so instead she hopped into the shiny elevator and pressed the back of her head against the wall. She couldn't take the smile off her face. Juvia felt so happy, her heart was light and she felt like she had wings. She hated that she was acting like a teenage girl but she was too happy to care, even with the annoying elevator tunes blasting form the speakers.

Back in her home she showered and changed into PJs, crawling into bed she stared at the ceiling. Juvia knew that she was definitely attracted to him, but was not sure if she already had feelings. "_At least it's a start"_ she said to the silent room. She found herself excited about the next time she was going to see him again. She felt giddy and light, like a teenage girl with a crush.

Gray then entered her mind and Juvia's happiness was dampened by the thought that she would see the dreams again if she closed her eyes. This day was like a roller-coaster ride. She woke up feeling her worst and then hours ago, she felt like the happiest girl in the world, yet now she was gonna go back again to being miserable. It wasn't Gray that made her miserable but it was the memories that gave her so much pain. The dreams showed her their moments together, bad and good, yet even if they were the happy ones, Juvia knew how they all ended up into their separation. That was where everything lead, to that dark room.

She sat up and called for Stranger. If there was any way to prevent the nightmares even just to dampen them, she would take it. The big dog hopped into the bed and nuzzled her arm. She grinned at the Stranger's enthusiasm and ruffled his fur. She tucked the dog to bed and turned out the light. Praying to God to let her happiness remain, closing her eyes, she let herself fall into sleep.

"_Hey Io, would you date someone older than you, I mean like someone 3 or 4 years your elder?" _Jordan said lazily, she played with her hair, twirling it around her fingers and blowing on the tips. She lay on the bed with her shoes still on. Pillows and books scattered around her and a drawing pad settled on her legs. Her black tank top, was slightly pulled up, revealing her belly button. She wore tattered jeans and a Levi's denim jacket. Her blinds were open and warm afternoon sunlight entered, illuminating several spots inside Jordan's room. Jordan's closet was half-open and Juvia saw several colorful pieces, dresses and graphic tees. Jordan stared up at the ceiling, closing her eyes now as if to sleep but open them again.

"_I guess not, I don't really have enough experience to tell. Why do you ask?" _Juvia shrugged at Jordan, she was at the foot of the bed, cross-legged as she scanned through her friend's collection of albums. They were all mixed in a carton box and she arranged them patiently by year, genre and artist. She was holding a Green Day album when Jordan asked. She called up Juvia to come to her place since she was bored to death. After doing everything they could possibly think of, here they were now.

Gray went out with his friends and was not aware that she was with Jordan. She asked Juvia not to tell him. _"He'd just stay here and I wouldn't have time to spend with you anymore" _Jordan said with a pout when she called her up hours ago. Juvia had to admit that she was a little suffocated by Gray. They were always together, where she was, he was there beside her and where he was going, and he'd always take her. Juvia liked spending time but it was a little over the top, especially since they weren't officially a couple. People were already beginning to ask and gossip about them, Juvia didn't need the extra attention.

Flipping to lie on her chest Jordan sighed and rolled her eyes. "_Well there's this guy that my friend introduced. He's cute but a little too macho for my taste but still cute. See he's older and I was just wondering if I should just go ahead and ask him out." _Jordan raised her eyebrows at Juvia, expecting an answer, her blue eyes, centered only at her. Her hands were gripping the edge of the bed gently, her hair was tussled and her clothes were wrinkled.

"_Ughh, I don't know, If-If you really think that's gonna work then why not" _Juvia said hesitantly. These things were not her forte. She'd never known how it was to be in a relationship till Gray and they weren't even official. She wondered if they were just messing around but she didn't feel that way about him, it was already getting serious to her. She just hoped that it was the same for him. What they were doing was beyond being special friends and Juvia was concerned that her actions were beginning to be immoral.

Jordan considered this for a minute and rolled to lie on her back. Sighing she covered her eyes with the back of her hand. Juvia concentrated again on the albums in front of her, her thoughts began to wander. It had been weeks now since she and Gray started whatever it is they were doing. He always waited for her and took her home, carried her things and touched her casually. He was affectionate and possessive. They'd shared a couple of kisses now and Juvia felt like it was the first every time. Gray would always surprise her whenever he kissed her, suddenly out of the blue, almost spontaneously as if he did it whenever he felt like it. Her heart fluttered at the thought and her head seemed lighter. She remembered the hot pressure of his lip on hers, hungry and urgent. She couldn't help the smile that crept to her mouth, tentatively covering it with her hand.

"_Violette, you and my brother, I don't really want to be rude or intrude in your business, you two look great together, but I just have to ask. What are you two really?" _Jordan said hesitantly after a moment, she was still covering her eyes and her voice was so soft that Juvia barely heard the question. _"I mean what is your relationship with him?"_

_What are we? _Juvia asked in her mind. She swallowed hard and though for an answer. _Friends? No, friends don't do stuff like that. Lovers? We never talk about anything like that. No, I do, he doesn't_. She struggled for anything to say, opening her mouth as if to say something but closing it again, her eyebrows pulling together. Jordan moved to look at her, her eyes sad and sorry. _"I don't know Jordan_" Juvia said quietly, her voice breaking a little. Tears began to swell in her eyes and her throat burned. "_I have no idea what we're doing"_

Her hands felt weak and she dropped the albums. Staring down at them, Juvia's eyes were now blurry. Confusion and panic racked her mind. She'd been meaning to ask Gray the same question but she couldn't get the right chance. Every time she'd try, Juvia always faltered. _Is he not thinking about this too? _She asked herself. Juvia wondered if it was only her who was worrying over such thing, or maybe Gray had already decided and left her out of it. Why didn't he ever bring it up?

"_What the hell is my brother doing?" _Jordan sighed and crawled out of bed. She moved the box away from Juvia and sat in it's place. Moving her hand towards Juvia's face and brushing away the hair, tucking it into her ear, Jordan frowned, her blue eyes, clear as a ray of sunshine hit her face. "_I'm sorry" _she whispered and moved to hug her. Juvia's tears fell and she clutched Jordan, sobbing as the question ran in her mind endlessly.

Stranger was barking into her ear and Juvia opened her eyes, groaning. She turned and light hit her face. Holding her hand up to the source, she sat up slowly. Her head ached a little, it was probably caused by oversleeping. Her hair fell in loose waves around her and she had too squint to see anything clearly. Stranger was beside her, sitting on his hind legs and wagging his tail. Juvia crossed her legs beneath the blanket and rubbed her eyes. That was when she realized it was morning.

Her eyes widened with surprise. She had a dream, but not a nightmare. It was a memory from the past but Gray was remotely in it. His face was already a permanent picture in her dreams but last night was different. Juvia's mouth smiled so wide her lips hurt. Looking around her, making sure she wasn't still dreaming. Her eyes lightened up. She grabbed Stranger and hugged him all while tears began to swell in her eyes. _Thank you God, thank you magic dog _she said in her mind, repeating and repeating it till her alarm clock went off. Startling them both, Juvia released the dog from her embrace and stood up, stretching her body. She forgot how it felt to wake up normally, not in the middle of the night, breathing hard and tears pouring down her face.

She got so used to the nightmares that she'd already prepared herself mentally before going to sleep. Hoping that this dream would be subtler than the last or this nightmare wouldn't last too long, but today her mind was clear of any worries. The sun opened to her as Juvia slowly pulled the curtains aside. Her view was spectacular as ever. Before she didn't have a clear mind to properly appreciate it and now she did. The buildings outlined the warm sky, there were a few clouds that drifted by the endless blue. The horizon was a bright yellow and orange.

She cooked eggs and asparagus, eating quietly while she read the news with her free hand. Juvia showered slowly, feeling the hot water run through her body, loosening her joints thoroughly. She ran her hands through her hair as the water made it glisten. She hadn't realized how long it was now, almost landing half- way her back. Dressing in a white, crisp blouse, khakis and nude heels, Juvia went to work, all with a smile on her face. Lana was happy to see her so up and energized in the morning, greeting her pleasantly with her red lips turned up into a warm smile. Juvia must have looked tired the past few days that it made her assistant worried. She entered her office and opened the blinds to let some light in. A few manuscripts were still unread on her desk and Juvia started with the first of the pile. Retrieving her laptop from her desk drawer, she typed and edited a few more manuscripts. Lana came in after awhile, bearing coffee and a small tray of biscuits with her.

Juvia's hands started to tire a little so she stopped for a moment and sat back in her chair. Breathing deeply and cracking her knuckles gently. Her eyes traveled all over her desk and they settled on Reese's tickets. Bending forward Juvia picked them up and examined the glossy parchment. " _Voices on Canvass and Film" _she read the title. It was already soon and Juvia didn't want to miss it. She had an extra ticket and Reese told her to bring someone. Her thoughts traveled towards Lyon, she wondered if he liked art. He was a writer so she assumed that he was also somehow connected to visual expression. She smiled as she formulated how she would ask him. "_Hey Lyon, wanna go to my sister's show, who probably isn't very fond of me and used these tickets to bribe me for money?" _Juvia said to herself. She hoped that Reese would appreciate it if she came.

Turning back to her laptop, Juvia began again at where she left, scanning her eyes all over the pages and letting her fingers moved across the keyboard. Juvia's eyes concentrated on the words she were typing. Half of the papers on her table were already finished. Although she was working her thoughts wondered of into the dream she had.

It was of her and Jordan, no Gray. That was the time when Juvia began to feel conscious of her actions, that was the start of her doubts. Gray didn't notice it then but Juvia knew that he would later on and it would bring them major trust issues. Jordan's question then was still unanswered to this day. Juvia didn't know what they were then and that hasn't changed till now, she never again thought of that question since she ran from him.

People saw them together, but Gray didn't seem to notice, or he didn't care at all. He continued being affectionate towards her. He touched her hands, wrapped his arm around her waist or shoulders, stroke her hair or her face. He acted like what a boyfriend would've been towards Juvia. She wasn't so bold as to do things that he was doing, yet every moment she spent with him, she felt herself become more greedy and seeking for his touch. She still felt conscious of their relationship but she didn't push him away either. _That's' cause I loved him then. _Juvia said in her thoughts.

A soft knock interrupted her thought and Juvia looked up. Lana's head appeared behind the door, her hair spilling under her.

"_Jordan's here to see you Ma'am, shall I let her in?" _Lana's red lips uttered as she looked at Juvia's work. She raised her brows, Jordan rarely visited her during work, especially on a school day. Juvia shut her laptop and fixed the papers on her table, she though it must be urgent or Jordan had nothing to do.

"_Yeah, Thanks Lana" _Juvia waited as Lana's footsteps faded and was replaced by another's. Jordan opened the door with her foot, holding two cups of coffee and a box of donuts in her hands, a wide grin on her pretty face. She had a jacket on, a plum T-shirt, jeans and trainers. Her face was clean of any make-up. Jordan's freckles were noticeable but her face was fresh and relaxed, periwinkle-blue eyes clear and bright. Juvia noticed she was a little too jumpy.

"_Hey, you look great today. Something good happened?" _ Jordan said as Juvia stood up to take the food out of her hands, setting it down carefully on the table. She sat on one of the chairs in front of Juvia's desk and opened the box. An assortment of donuts lined the container. Cream-filled, sprinkled topped pastries made Jordan's eyes sparkle. She grabbed one of them and turned the box towards Juvia crossing her legs.

"_You too, something happen with Zef?", _Juvia picked one of the donuts and bit into it. Bread and cream filled her mouth. She walked towards the seat in front of Jordan and sat. Her hair was lightened by the sun rays behind her, emphasizing the color.

Jordan's eyebrows perked up and her eyes sparkled. _Something definitely happened _Juvia noticed, extra happy Jordan opened her mouth as if to say something but instead bit her lip and giggled. _"It's a secret" _she said winking and taking another donut from the box.

"_Alright, alright I won't ask. Anyways, remember that time when you asked me about what I thought about dating older men? "_

Jordan's eyebrow went up and she took another bite of her donut, trying to remember what she was talking about. She shook her head and took a sip from her coffee. "_I don't recall_"

"_The macho guy that your friend introduced that was older than you" _Juvia said giving a hint.

"_Oh, the muscle dude? Yeah, now I remember" _Jordan's eyes grew big as she began to recall_. " He and I were a disaster, that's why I don't like men with big muscles" _She bent her arm up to show her point, rolling her eyes.

"_That was what I dreamed of, Jordan. Last night wasn't all about Gray" _Juvia said as she chewed on her bread.

Jordan's mouth formed into an O and she jumped a little from her seat. "_That's awesome Io". _She grabbed both of Juvia's hands and gripped them tightly. "_Was it Stranger?"_

"_I don't really know for sure, but yeah I think he kinda calms me down when I sleep." _Even before Juvia fell asleep, she was already thinking of the dream that was about to come. How bad was it gonna be? How long? Which memory? All these questions racked her brain till she finally fell asleep.

"_That's amazing" _Jordan squeezed her hands and sat back in her chair, her eyes contemplating. They sat like that for a long time, lost in each other thoughts. Juvia looked down at her coffee cup, swirling the brown liquid as hot vapor rose up.

Juvia had found a remedy, but not exactly a cure, not yet. She had always thought that one day she'd find something that would remove her nightmares, but with each night spent dreaming about Gray, she slowly lost hope, only now did her hopes return, although Stranger was only a comforter, a medium to allow her to dampen her nightmares but not completely banish them. She was still somehow satisfied.

If her dreams would remain subtle, Juvia thought she could bare it for a little while longer. She cracked her knuckles and closed the box of donuts. Jordan was still lost in thought, staring at the window behind Juvia, her blue eyes distant. She was biting her fingernails and her other hand gripped the arm of the chair.

Juvia had mentioned her dreams to her a few days after the dreams started. They were walking by the beach when she revealed her only secret to her best friend.

They leisurely strolled by the sea side, bare-footed they felt the sand under their feet. Jordan wore black shorts and a bikini top with a zebra detail. Juvia opted for a white tube, matching shorts and a dark blue cardigan. The wind breezed by them, spraying sand on their faces and whipping their hair back. The waves were gentle, slowly making their way to the shore.

"_Jordan" _Juvia called her friend's attention. She was looking towards the vast sea, squinting at the sunset.

"_Yeah?" _Jordan said quietly, still staring away. They were already half-way along the shore and palm trees could be spotted in the horizon. The air was damp and humid. Juvia stared down at her feet as they continued to step forward. Sand filled the spaces between her toes and they slightly tickled her. She'd asked Jordan to come with her on a vacation. She just actually wanted a change of scenery. Her dreams shocked and stressed her so much she needed to get away from the city.

"_I have dreams" _Juvia started slowly, swallowing the lump in her throat and tucking her hair behind her ear. "_Dreams about the past, about Gray" _her voice dropped to a whisper at the mention of his name.

Jordan's head whipped around, her eyebrows were pulled together and her mouth was pressed into a tight line. She abruptly stopped, slightly spraying sand all over her. "_What?"_

Juvia sighed and raked her hand vigorously through her hair, pushing it back as another breeze blew by. She faced Jordan and looked intently at her, willing her to understand. _"I have dreams about your brother"_

Jordan said nothing. She just stared at Juvia. She was probably trying to understand if she was just joking or telling the truth. The sky began to change, from a blue-violet in now had streaks of yellow and orange. The sea also seemed to darken, turning into a murky deep blue. She swallowed and reached out for Juvia's hand without saying a word, her face seemed paler, even under the afternoon rays. Her skin had been tanned a little but at the mention of Juvia's secret, blood seemed to drain out of her.

Juvia accepted Jordan's outstretched hand and squeezed it. They both watched as the sun set, slowly descending towards the horizon, as if to merge with the sea. Shadows began to appear and the sky darkened further. They watched till the last rays of light were visible.

Juvia stood from her seat, emerging from the memory. Jordan was the first person she'd ever told about her dreams. Dr. Allen came next. She had a hunch, someone was gonna add to the list soon. She thought of her parents or maybe Reese, maybe even Lyon, perhaps it was time to tell Gray as well. Nevertheless, she didn't want to find out.

The Beatles' Hey Jude rang through the room. Jordan slightly jumped from her seat, breaking out of her thoughts. She fumbled inside her pockets and produced her phone, vibrating with the tune.

"_Yes?" _Jordan said to the receiver, turning away from Juvia. Her friend whispered quickly to the phone. Turning back to her, Jordan was smiling again. "_Let's celebrate_"

"_For what?_

"_You know, for your first no-Gray dream, besides dreaming of me is a celebration in itself" _Jordan flipped her hair exaggeratedly and stood up, tucking her phone back to her pocket. "_Wanna catch a movie later?"_

Juvia supposed it was some kind of a good omen, so why not celebrate it? She considered for awhile if she wanted to spend the night alone again or go out and enjoy herself. The choice was pretty simple. _"Okay, 5:30?"_

"_Yeah! That's the spirit" _Jordan said and hugged her tight. She grabbed her coffee and waved goodbye as she walked out the door. Juvia turned towards her desk and sighed, placing her hands at the edge of the table. How long has it been since she went out for a movie, even just to hang out with friends, she could not remember. _"I need to get out mo-_

"_Wait!" _Jordan's voice startled her, she almost squeaked and her breath came in a rush.

"_Damn Jordan, don't scare me like that"_

"_Sorry" _Jordan approached the table and grabbed the box of donuts. "_You don't mind if I take these? I'm still kinda hungry. Momma needs her donuts"_

Juvia laughed at Jordan and nodded through her chuckles. "_Sure"_

* * *

- _End it all in fire, burn it all in ice and leave the ashes behind._

Again, lots of thanks! Love and Luck to you all..

Till the next chapter..


	11. Photograph

Nothing much to say except the usual, thanks for reading and I apologize for any errors. :)

* * *

_-Photograph_

Hours after Jordan left her office, Juvia stepped out into the fading light. The sun was beginning to set as she walked down the street, heading towards the local theatre. Cloudless and vast, the sky erupted in shades of the summer. The air was cool and breezy, perfect for a late afternoon stroll. It was rush hour in Magnolia City, basically it always was. People never seemed to decrease in the streets, there were always, always people. Waves and waves of human beings filled the streets, varieties of every aspect. There were the business-people in sleek suits and polished auras, always texting or calling on their hand-held phones, the preppy and some lousy students, backpacks hanging from their sides, acne bursting in their eager faces. She also saw singularities. There was one with red streaks in her hair and piercings all over her ears, another with star-shaped glasses, flower power jumpsuit and a big afro, singing with a ukulele.

Juvia passed by designer shops, and boutiques. She looked through the glass displays of several of them. Most of the pieces were extravagant and luxurious, Juvia liked the plain ones better. As the immobile models took their poses, she imagined herself wearing whatever the skinny mannequin was. She liked comfort more than style. There was a beige lace dress that she particularly liked, Juvia took a note of the name of the store and walked on.

Juvia wasn't much of a dresser, she didn't take long hours to pick out her clothes. She didn't mind wearing sneakers occasionally and her clothes weren't made to stand out. She had only several pieces that were considerably extravagant, mostly gifts from friends. She'd always hear women talk about being worth it to suffer just for the sake of looking good. She thought that was a horse shit of an idea.

Tonight Juvia opted for a beanie, a beige coat, and knee high brown boots. Her jeans were not too tight but weren't baggy either. She looked down at her shoes while she walked, people filling in her peripheral vision. Mindless noises and heavy traffic filled her ears, bright billboards and neon displays scattered all over her, slightly giving her a headache. Juvia tried to drown the world out with that tiny music player everyone had in their minds.

After 5 more minutes of walking she finally reached the theater. Movie posters hung behind glass displays and snack booths on both corners, she paced a little. Checking her watch, Juvia was a little too early. People began exiting the cinema, finished popcorn and plastic cups in their hands, chattering about whatever they watched. Juvia stood aside, not wanting to be dragged by the waves of movie-goers. She tried to look out for any violet-highlights, but Jordan was nowhere in sight. There was no way to recognize anyone by the speed and flow of the crowd, it was almost like everyone mixed into one mobile entity.

After a while, the people began to disperse, although there were still a lot blocking her vision. Juvia stood on her toes and tried to identify anyone. Sighing, she rocked on her heels and waited patiently for a clear view. Juvia looked above and read the marquee signs above her, flashing and blinking in bright red neon. The next movie was in about 20 minutes.

Looking towards the ticket counter, she saw a tall black figure. Looking more closely, Juvia found herself staring at a man, his back towards hers. He was leaning towards the counter and tapping his left foot, the broadness of his back emphasized by his position. She squinted a little, trying to figure out the sense of familiarity that she felt. His face was not visible although his built was so distinct that Juvia took a little step towards him. His dark clothes were a familiar sight to her. _Lyon? _He was wearing black long-sleeves, pushed to his elbows, a bright red scarf and black jeans. _Wait a minute, I know that scarf. Isn't that-_

Gray turned towards her. Juvia's heartbeats were slow and loud, thumping in her ears. He took out his wallet and tucked something among the folds. She wanted to retreat into some dark corner where he couldn't possibly see her but her feet were stuck to the ground. Juvia tried moving her gaze away, to look at anything else, but her eyes only shifted for a second before they looked back to him. _Jesus Christ Violette! _She scolded herself violently.

His eyes were covered by his hair that fell over his face, but as soon as he looked up, she was directly in his sight. His face registering surprise and confusion, he looked a little paler since Juvia had last seen him. His brows furrowed together at the sight of Juvia standing just several feet from him. He shoved his hands in his pockets and cocked his head, still looking at her, his blue eyes vivid even at a distance. _Sapphire, ink and snow, _those were the words she'd used to describe him before, she read it in some book where the character had the same features and she instantly thought of Gray. He was striking as ever.

Breaking out of her brief surprise, Juvia tentatively smiled and waved. She could barely move, instead she greeted him, not wanting to be rude. It might have been awkward if they just stood there staring at each other. People passed between them and for a second Juvia could barely see him through the bodies packed together. She took that brief distraction to calm down. "_You better keep your shit together"_ she muttered to herself, and just then someone tapped her shoulder, startling Juvia.

Jordan smiled at her with Zef following beside her. Their hands were linked together and they wore matching white pants. She wore hers with a messenger bag and Mary Jane's while Zef had a varsity jacket and beige Chuck Taylors. Zef briefly smiled at her then looked around. Surprise was suddenly his expression, his jaw going slack.

_Yeah, I had the same reaction too_. Juvia was trying to figure things out when she saw Gray moving towards them from the corner of her eye. Jordan didn't seem to notice, she was looking at the movie posters, her finger tapping her chin. Juvia looked at Zef, raising her eyebrows but he just shrugged, his mouth turning down into a frown. Zef tugged Jordan's hand a little and motioned towards her brother.

"_What the-" _Jordan exclaimed as she saw him. Deeply swallowing, she turned back to Juvia, questions in her eyes. Juvia quickly shrugged, thinking that neither of them expected Gray to be here. The trio waited for him to weave his way along the moving crowds of noisy people. Juvia could feel Jordan tense up.

"_Hi, what are you doing here?" _Jordan asked as she hugged her brother.

"_Just gonna see a movie, you guys?" _Gray said as he returned his sister's greeting. He watched Juvia for a second before stepping forward to lay his forehead on her's. Stepping away, he clasped hands with Zef and slightly bumped shoulders, in that man-to-man way of saying 'hello'.

Juvia swallowed hard. She froze when he made contact with her just seconds ago. This was his habit of greeting her before, not to kiss, sometimes to hug but more often he would just gently come towards her and pull her face close to his to lay his forehead on hers. It was intimate and it was only for her. He did it with no one else and Juvia considered it as there 'thing' before. She thought it must've stuck with him. It wasn't all bad but she wasn't that comfortable with it. She slightly fidgeted and drew closer towards Jordan, a little farther from Gray.

"_Yeah, we were just gonna celebrate something, ugh it's Juvia's first-" _Juvia kicked Jordan's leg before she could say anything. Gray raised one of his eyebrows in question.

"_My first ugh-it's really just a girl thing, right Jordan?"_ Juvia said quickly.

"_Yeah, totally" _

"_O-kay?" _Gray's camera hung from his shoulder, Juvia only noticed it when he came forward. "_Why don't I tag along with you guys for now?"_

Jordan looked at her nervously, inquiring with her eyes if it was okay. Juvia pondered on this for a few moments. _Movie. Silence. Darkness. Popcorn. Just what normal friends do. _ Juvia shrugged and smiled lightly. Watching a movie together was a normal activity for friends, besides Jordan and Zef would be there too.

"_Yeah sure" _Jordan said all too quickly. "_Would you mind getting some food?" _she inquired the two men. "_ A chocolate bar and a donut for me, wait, no two donuts. Kinda hungry"._

"_Didn't you already eat donuts this morning?" _Juvia elbowed her friend.

The two men took their time as they headed for the snack bars, talking in hushed voices. There wasn't much difference in height, Gray was just a few centimeters taller. As soon as Zef and Gray were out of hearing range, Jordan squealed quietly. She looked at Juvia pleadingly, apologizing with her eyes, making them look as innocent as possible. She almost slipped and would have blown Juvia's secret.

"_It's fine, watch yourself next time okay?" _Juvia said, placing her hands on Jordan's shoulder. Juvia didn't want to impose too much on her, she just wanted everyone to be normal around each other without them being concerned about her all the time. Keeping a secret from your brother was hard enough when she imagined it herself. Jordan had kept her secret for a long time now and she was grateful that her friend held on as long as she did. Juvia knew how much Jordan liked talking. Still, Jordan whimpered and her eyes were close to tears.

"_Would you please stop being so nervous Jordan? It's gonna be fine"_

"_Okay, okay" _Jordan said, breathing deeply. She shook her hands and jumped around a little. Wriggling her fingers, she paced, her heels tapping on the floor. Finally, she calmed down and her smile returned. _"That was close"_. Juvia linked her arm with Jordan and they walked towards Zef and Gray waiting for them at the entrance. _Perfectly normal._

After they bought tickets and found their seats, the movie already begun. Juvia found herself beside Gray, Jordan and Zef in front of them. She looked at the screen with great intensity, putting popcorn in her mouth once in a while, trying her hardest not to let her mind drift towards the person beside her. Juvia scooted as far away from him as her seat allowed. She felt silly in doing so, but she couldn't help it.

The opening credits began to roll in and a few more murmurs persisted. Directly above the person beside her was a bright beam of light that hit the screen. Behind her she could hear kids laughing and snorting at each other, she and Gray where in the seated at the middle row.

In front of her, Jordan was cuddled up to Zef, her head on his shoulder and his arm draped around her seat. Sam was whispering something into her ear that made her giggle softly. _Great, that's very helpful_. Juvia shifted uncomfortably in her seat and tried to focus on the movie. Her popcorn was flavored caramel just the way she liked. Concentration and interest seemed to drift away from her and she began to feel restless, slightly regretting coming.

The only noise she could hear was her thoughts. Gray was casually slouched in his seat, fully facing the screen, but his eyes were definitely not concentrated on the movie either. At one point he produced a baseball cap from his pocket and shoved it onto his head, putting it down halfway his face to obscure his view of the screen. His only feature that was visible was his mouth that was turned down into a slightly odd angle.

Juvia leaned in to whisper something. "_You didn't come for the movie did'ya?" _Gray turned towards her and answered her with a sly grin, his eyes still covered from view. He slightly straightened and moved closer to her seat, crossing his arms over his chest. "_Just went out for a walk" _he said softly and cleared his throat_. "was thinking 'bout just sitting in the theater, not specifically for the movie"._ The smile returned and he lifted his chin a little, Juvia could finally see his shadowed blue orbs. The sight of his eyes staring down at her sent her mind reeling into another place, another memory. _No, don't think about this_, but it was already too late.

Juvia and Gray were seated at the very back and at the very top of the theater, they'd been here for two consecutive movies, both not interested at either. The only light came from the images on the screen but other than that it was completely dark. People were quiet around them and they settled in the darkness too. She was faced towards him, her feet tucked under her, above the seat. Her head was laid next to his cheek and her hand was captured by his. Gray was examining it in the faint light, slowly turning her hand over, tracing the lines of her palm, of her fingers, then turning it back around to touch the slightly protruding veins, the soft contact compensating for their silence.

His hand dwarfed hers but his touch was feathery light, it made Juvia's lids flutter shut. She immersed herself in the feel of his fingers caressing her skin. It was ridiculous to feel so much with just a simple touch, she though, but she felt it anyway. At first it made her a bit ticklish, now it was pleasant, really pleasant. Juvia breathed slowly, she could feel a few strands of his hair touch her forehead, his cheek gently pressed onto her temple.

He then closed his hand over hers, looking as his fingers slowly interlocked with Juvia's. Gray turned towards her and kissed her forehead tenderly, she could feel him smile as he tucked her head in the curve of his shoulder. It was raining outside and neither one of them had an umbrella, so they decided to wait it out inside the theater.

Juvia let her senses be filled with him. She drowned out the movie sounds and settled into their own quietness. It made her remember a lot of things but most of all Jordan's question abounded among the others. That simple question that she'd agonized over. _What is your relationship exactly? _She still didn't know the answer. Juvia felt like a coward, she couldn't bring herself to ask him, or maybe she was too scared to find out the answer. It was so selfish of her that she found herself slightly disappointed with her own lack of effort. Wanting and begging to know but still be too afraid to ask, was she that of a craven?

They were the same way as before, still affectionate, still together, still without a formal relationship. Juvia felt herself drifting away, like somehow this new entity was consuming her, becoming her, a being that was happy with Gray's affection even without a proper name to label his intentions. She felt herself become contented with how things were and that confused her so much, she didn't want to think anymore, just feel.

Never has she felt this degree of love, only she thought it was love. Now she was beginning to give it another name, lust. Only with him had her soul felt more cherished and alive, but never had her mind also feel such contradiction towards her body_. _All the years of her existence, she only had a few descriptions of what that exclusively human emotion called love was: Love was meant to be reciprocated and that love is a cycle that included pain, regret, loss, deliverance and love again.

Her ideas were now muffled, distorted into things she couldn't understand. What if all these years she had been creating her own descriptions according to what she thought love would be? Was that naive of her? Or was she just too innocent to know for sure.

_I'm drowning. _Gray pulled her closer to him. His hand was caressing her shoulder and Juvia's skin began to warm up under the fabric beneath his touch, she realized she'd been shivering. Juvia slowly raised her head to look at him, to look at the man who had enslaved her whole being.

Her world revolved around him now. She had no other concerns but with him in them. She had no more thoughts that only belonged to herself, every one of them always of him. Juvia wasn't even sure if she wanted her old life back, hell, she couldn't even remember it.

This new life was also a cycle. That she knew for sure. It was a path that started with uncertainty, then it was blissful affection, doubtful thoughts and wishful thinking, utter self- loathing and back to the same inexplicable feelings of unproven, unreciprocated love.

Juvia had already said to him once that she loved him. At that one moment, she let herself be totally enslaved by him, but at that time, there was no response. Still in this movie theater, the words were not yet returned.

She examined his profile in the flickering light, his blue eyes being the most breath taking feature. She wanted to see an answer in them, a sign or even a flicker of emotion to tell her that everything was okay, that this relationship was normal, but all she remembered was the regret that had passed through those eyes many times before. Why? What does that mean? Questions added into her thought rather than answers.

If he regretted being with her, then why where his actions telling her otherwise. He suffocated her with his affection, filled her every thought, it was like he brought her the greatest joy but also the deepest sadness. She knew that this had to stop, but Juvia's body rejected the idea so hard that she couldn't bring her mind to think about it anymore. "_You're turning me against myself" _she muttered softly to the darkness. If he wouldn't do it then she would have to take the initiative for both their sakes. Juvia doubted she was strong enough to be the first one to step away.

Gray noticed her gaze and met her eyes. Smiling softly he closed his eyes and laid his forehead to hers, gently kissing the side of her mouth. Juvia's resolve melted away. _Damn it. _How weak could she get against him? She could barely think anymore when he finally kissed her full on the lips.

With a deep breath and some popcorn, Juvia brought herself to the present. That memory was already near towards The End. She called that memory in the dark room, The End, because it was where her questions were all answered. It was the oblivion of whatever they had between them. That memory of them in the theater wasn't one of her favorites. It was at that time when she'd already torn herself between loving him and hurting herself. She'd agonized over it for years after their separation, but now she knew for sure that her complete being, belonged to her again. Not one piece remained with him. _Okay maybe 1/16 of it _she thought. The little problem was those dreams. If she didn't have them then Juvia would have completely been freed. _The world and it's bullshit._

Gray shifted in his seat, momentarily distracting her. The movie was still playing and everyone's attention was on the big screen. A character was running over a field of wheat, a cliched triumphant smile on his face, when suddenly a gun fires and he stumbles out of sight, _Serves you right, no one's that happy. Shut up, your just bitter Juvia_. She barely knew what the story line was, slowly she rubbed her temples and tried to ease the ensuing debate with herself. Beside her Gray tapped his fingers on the arm rest, he slightly raised his cap and now his eyes were visible. He rubbed his hand along his jaw, leaning towards her, he whispered.

"_Do you wanna get out of here?" _

Juvia turned to him and met his stare for a while. She only realized now how much she hated this movie, it barely caught her attention. _Sorry_ she thought towards the movie screen, feeling a bit foolish for being too harsh on it. Her butt was sore and her popcorn was already finished, her body yearned for a walk. Why not one with him?

"_We're going on ahead" _Juvia whispered to Jordan, leaning onto Zef's arm. Her friend smiled up at her and nodded, waving a little to her brother and turned back to the movie. Juvia's eyes were disoriented by the sudden darkness as they got farther away from the screen. She dizzily tried to concentrate on the path she was taking when she felt Gray take her hand, steering her towards the exit. His hold was firm but gentle, a reassuring gesture of old-fashioned chivalry.

Wind breezed by them as soon as they stepped out. Gray graciously let go of her hand as they began to walk. Their steps were out of time but they slowly settled into each other's pace, his stride was quite long so he had to do most of the adjusting. Gray guided her with his hand on her back when they crossed the street. They were silent all throughout, letting the city fill in the silence between them.

City lights danced around them as they strolled. Cold air breezed around them and Juvia crossed her arms to preserve warmth. They took their time as they headed towards the park, there were only a few people when they reached the square. Gray would stop along the way and take some pictures, bending over random things and clicking away on his camera. He didn't bother to look at the shots when he was done. Juvia wondered how he managed to get the device inside the cinema. She patiently waited for him to finish and they'd resume their walk in silence.

" _Where did you go when you traveled for your work?" _Juvia finally asked after a moment. They were now leisurely walking side by side, her on the sidewalk and him on the edge of the street, without a certain destination in mind.

"_Mostly in Europe, Luxembourg and Spain were really awesome, lots of sights. Austria's my favorite. They had a lot of museums for Beethoven and Bach and a lot of other natives, I spent most of my time there in Vienna and Graz, so much culture and old things." _Gray narrated thoughtlessly, a smile on his lips. Juvia quietly listened to him, watching his expressions. "_Let's see, ughh..Italy and France too, t'was damned hot as hell. I mostly shot castles and vegetation and any other interesting things I saw. I had these pictures of a baguette in different angles, I know it sounds amateur but I didn't know why I found it so fascinating but yeah..bread." _

"_Where did you settle the longest?"_

"_Mmm..In Venice, I guess, almost three weeks that I got caught up there. That was my lazy phase and I just wanted to eat a lot of pizza" _He chuckled and stooped to take a few more pictures of the horizon. It was a thin line of clouds and warm colors. He was still wearing the baseball cap but she could see his eyes now. Gray smiled up at her and offered his hand. She took it without hesitation, but mostly of familiarity as she stepped down to settle beside him. They walked at the center of the road.

"_How 'bout you ?" _Gray turned to her as he asked.

"_Work? Ughh..a lot of reading, I think all I do is read and write actually"_

" _You still do poetry?"_

"_No, unfortunately I lost that a long time ago". _Juvia shrugged. She wrote a lot of poetry back then. Quite a few were dedicated to him, she remembered. Their shadows trailed behind them.

Finally they sat on a park bench and she stared up at the night sky, counting as many stars as she could to distract herself from remembering any more memories. Gray also followed her gaze and looked upwards.

"_I used to see a lot of stars when I was in Greece. They were a lot more than these, just splattered to the sky. My companion would teach me about constellations, I was interested at first but later it would bore the fuck out of me. I just kept thinking if other people were watching the same stars I was." _Gray said quietly. He closed his eyes, as if to remember the wonderful sight.

"_It must've been awesome"_ Juvia said after a while "_to travel around"._

Gray said nothing to that. He clenched his jaw and his eyebrows pulled together. Juvia wondered if what she said was wrong, suddenly nervous of being here with him.

"_It would have been if I wasn't running away Rae" _He whispered and turned to her. _"Sure there were a lot of pretty things to see but no place, no starry sky could help me forget..us. I wouldn't enjoy those places if I were there for the wrong reasons."_

They sat there for awhile, staring at each other, without a word between them. Finally Gray turned towards the sky. Juvia closed her eyes, feeling the wind as it kissed her skin, cool and light. This was a whole different experience she had with him. Her memories of Gray were always of them showing affection and touching, but this was pleasantly different. She felt connected to him with just this silence between them, two people sitting under the black canvass, both looking at the same sky and at the same stars, although she was aware that their hands were only centimeters apart from touching.

The silence reminded her of Lyon, and she found it intriguingly strange. Words weren't exactly necessary between them. A moment of quietness with him wasn't as awkward as she thought it would be. Experiencing this with a different person overwhelmed Juvia. She wasn't so sure if she liked it. With Lyon it was spontaneous, as if the first time they met they already knew that this was how it was gonna be between them but with Gray, she wasn't used to just sitting close to him, being quiet and hardly even touching. _This is probably where we start over._

_Click._

Juvia's eyes fluttered open. Gray was holding his camera up to her, smiling. _"Sorry"_ he mouthed, not wanting to ruin the silence.

Juvia smiled to say that it was okay.

Gray's phone vibrated, ruining the moment. Juvia chuckled as he took it. _"Hey_" He looked up at her as he listened to the person at the other end, his hair falling over his face again. If this was the past, then Juvia would have immediately reached out to stroke his hair back, but now things were different. Her hands remembered that simple gesture but she didn't feel the need to do it_. Good. _But her conviction only lasted for a second before her hand twitched and finally reached for his face hesitantly, raking her fingers through his hair to put them back into place. _You really can't help it can you?_

Gray's eyes remained on her with a hint of amusement and surprise in them, his mouth giving her a grin. He followed her little gesture and stroked her cheek before tucking her hair behind her ear, as if to say thank you. Juvia's heartbeats multiplied. Her lip quivered and she swallowed the huge lump in her throat and gave him a shaky smile.

"_Okay, okay, have fun. Good night" _Gray said, bringing down the phone. "_That was Jordan, the movie's finished already and they went to a bar. She's asking if you want to go."_

"_No, I think I'll call it a night" _

"_Walk you home?"_

"_Yeah sure, thanks"_

They stood and began walking again. Juvia and Gray talked more about Europe along the way. He told her more about the places he went to and the people he'd worked with. He would still stop sometimes to snap several pictures and Juvia would ask if she could see it. He'd show her but didn't look at them himself, this required some amount of contact. Juvia didn't mind, it didn't feel uncomfortable. She had better control of her senses now, she didn't know if it was the same for him though.

When they were nearing an eerie and dark area, only brightened by a malfunctioning streetlight, Juvia stepped closer to Gray and he in turn, as if sensing her discomfort, brought his arm around her waist, fully pressing her small figure to his side. There were a few drunks and strangers who called out to her and she chose simply to turn to Gray, clutching tightly to the fabric of his top. She could feel Gray's tense form as he set their pace faster. He muttered several angry curses as they walked past the section.

They both sighed in relief as they stepped out into a more crowded area, resuming their walk with Gray's arm remaining tight around her waist.

They took their time and even took the stairs. Halfway through, they sat on the steps for awhile. Resuming their walk, now a little bit faster, they still talked about Gray's work and both shared their experiences, with the other attentively listening. It was such a normal conversation that Juvia guessed they were both somehow surprised.

She felt happy and pleased at their little chat as they finally reached her door. She invited him in but Gray graciously refused like a proper gentleman should have. They both had foolish smiles as they stood facing each other in Juvia's doorway.

"_Thanks, I had fun tonight" _

"_Yeah me too, what were you celebrating again?"_

"_Uggh..ughh it's really complicated" _Juvia shrugged with a nervous laugh, trying to avoid his gaze.

"_Okay. Congratulations then, I guess." _Gray had this look she knew so well. The look of wanting to know what was going on. He did that whenever he felt that it was somehow important yet he didn't have any clue what it was. She called it the 'Clueless '. He did the Clueless several times when they were together_."Good night_" he continued.

"_Good night Gray"_.

"_Smile for me"_ he whispered.

Juvia's brow raised, but she obeyed. She gave him her best smile. He still stood there with her for a few more moments before he brought his camera up and took another picture of her, catching her off guard. The soft flash momentarily blinding Juvia, he smiled a crooked grin and leaned in to her, his hand reaching to cup her face. Juvia's eyes fluttered shut in surprise, waiting for his lips to touch hers, only to feel them on her forehead.

With that, she heard his retreating footsteps.

* * *

- _Separation, _

_Your absence has gone through me _  
_Like thread through a needle. _  
_Everything I do is stitched with its color." _  
_― W.s Merwin  
_

Just want to keep you guys guessing, sorry if it's a little confusing. Please review!

Love and Luck,

-M


	12. Author's Note

Author's Note:

* * *

Hey guys. This story will be put on hold for the mean time because apparently my files were corrupted and the preceding chapters are unfortunately somewhere within those said files. Hopefully I can recover them quickly. I'm really sorry and please look forward to the next installments. I am also planning on writing another Gruvia story, something less complicated than this one so watch out for that also. Sorry again and thanks for all your support.


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